My friends are back... so are the old memories...

Oh damn, its been awhile since i last blogged. Nothing much has changed. My best friends are back from studying overseas for their summer break. Brings back a lot of old but unforgettable memories. Looking back, i can't believe that 5 years have past since our high school days. Seems like it was just yesterday. I miss the times we used to fool around without having to worry about anything at all. Those were the days i guess.

I remember the time when we squeezed 10 people into a kancil car just to go to the nearest 7-11 to get something to eat. It was on the day of one of our SPM papers. We only had 1 car and everyone wanted to go. So, we shoved as many people as we could into the car, which could barely move after that. It was like 3 people in the front passenger seat and 6 at the back, with 1 driver in front. Amazingly we survived... i wasn't talking about the trip, i was referring to the smell of sweat in the car because of all of those bodies in the car. The smell was like rotten eggs. Hehehe! Good memory...

Also the time when we skipped school by walking out the front gate. The guard was friendly with us so no problem there. We looked back and saw the Assistant Principle looking at us from far. We couldn't care less. The next day, the teachers suspected that we were from the act stream class, so the act stream student were punished at the assembly session the next day. We were surprised that they didn't catch us. LOL! After that, instead of stopping, we skipped school even more. The reasons were simple: the canteen food sucked, and some of the subjects were boring, so we went outside for a meal and we would come back to school after 1 or 2 hours, actually just to take attendance. Hehehe! Kids, don't try this in school!

Another fond memory was when i was caned in school. I was playing 'lastic' with some of the scouts at the back of the scout house. The by accident, my buddy shot one of our juniors in the eye and it was blue-back. So we panicked and sent him to see one of the teachers to get medical attention. The next thing we knew, we were sent to the disciplinary room. Initially it was just 6 of us scouts (all were boys), but when we reached the room, there were 10 other student who were punished for doing the same thing (we really didn't know where they came from), and 5 of them were girls. So, the teacher gave light punishments to the girls and let them go. When it came to the boys, he chose a thick 'rotan' and practiced his golf swing on our asses. Damn it was painful. To make matters worse the teacher was a body builder with a big strong figure. My butt was sore after that but surprisingly i didn't feel much pain. Maybe because my ass was so numb that i couldn't feel anything. What an educational experience.

I remember getting 'tempek' (beaten up for fun) by 20 students for my birthday, during our break time. They were all my friends but it was a tradition back in my school so i was shown no mercy. I went back to class after that with bruises on my body but luckily my face wasn't disfigured. Hehehe! I didn't mind them doing that to me because i know that i can do it back to them on their birthdays.

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10 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Me

The only reason I'm doing this is because Yuin Yin tagged me and so i have to continue the chain. This list took me so long because i hardly know myself hehehe!

1. I have a slight OCB
   Obsessive Compulsive Behavior. I over-react to a lot of stuff. Sometimes to the extent of the smallest detail. For example, if i write something, every word and notation must be perfect. If even a full-stop is missing, i'll go crazy and try to correct it even if its already printed out and i'd just correct it and print it out again. Another example my playlist of songs in my pc. Every song title is editted so that it follows a uniform format (a dash to separate artist and title, capital letter only for of the 1st alphabet of the entire title, capital letters for the 1st alphabets of each word for the artist name, for songs with featured artists the format is different a bit). Many other examples i can't think of, sometimes it happens subconsciously.
   
   
2. I'm a good leader, bad follower
   I can't take orders at all for some reason. Very low attention span. I think even a monkey has a longer attention span than me. Especially if the leader thats bossing me around is incompetent, thats the worst thing, I'll lose my head. If i know the leader is wrong and I'm right, I'll wage a war. But if I'm the leader, I'd die on the battlefield for my troops. As a leader, I've always put my troops before me.
   
   
3. I'm a sucker for romantic movies
   Lol! This is one of my weaknesses. I really like this genre, but i only watch the really good ones. My favorites include A Walk To Remember, Jerry Maguire, Scent Of A Woman, 10 Things I Hate About You, Tomcats, Girl Next Door, Love Actually and much more. But mind you, I'm not a Titanic-fan.
   
   
4. My favorite color is red
   "Red is my color, united is my team!" This is too obvious. Manchester United is red so naturally red is my color too. I would buy a red car when i start working. Red always!
   
   
5. I would bleed for football
   I've spent so many years playing football, almost a decade now. I was always the passionate one on the field. Diving into tackles, blocking shots with my body and bumping into every obstacle thrown at me, that was how i played the game. As a result, i would like a wounded soldier when i got back home from playing, because i would have cuts, bruises and swollen body parts all the time. Sometimes even worse, i've had inflammation in both my knees (you won't wanna know how they took that out), and i even fell into a coma once after coming home from football. Even when i was lying down on my hospital bed a day after i woke up from my coma, the first thing i ask the doctor is "when can i start playing football again?".
   
   
6. I work part-time for the church
   Yeah, i do. Mainly web mastering and coordinating youth activities. I really take my church work seriously and i do it for God. He has done a lot for me so i want to return the favor. Besides, its fun and i get to spend some time with my church friends.
   

Still thinking... LOL!

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Theory of Relativity V2

My friend told me this joke and i don't mean it as an insult to women. Its just a JOKE. But mathematically proven as you can see :p


Firstly, girl = time x money

People say time is money, time = money

So naturally, girl = money x money

So to simplify, girl = money²

People also say that money is the root of all evil, money = √evil

So if you mathematically switch the equation, evil = money²

If girl = money² and evil = money²,

It boils down to
girl = evil

I Experienced My Greatest Fear in 1 Night...

What's my greatest fear? Actually, its the fear of being a parent. I've always told myself that i should get married late because i don't want to have children so early. I still want to enjoy my freedom while it still last. But a few days ago my fears caught up with me.

My sis bought a puppy (Shizu breed la). So, being only 6 weeks old, it demanded a lot of attention. During the day time it didn't matter because my sis was around to attend to it. But my nightmare started at night when my sis wanted me to let the puppy sleep in my room for the night (in its cage). I went to bed at about 1AM. As soon as i rested my head on my pillow, the puppy started barking. It wanted to piss and i won't piss in its cage for some reason, it prefers to water my floor. So, after it did its 'business' i had to mop my floor... at 1AM in the morning, mind you... and then it didn't want to go back into the cage, it wanted to play. So, i played with it for about 30 minutes and then it started to get sleepy again, so i put it back into the cage. Then i went back to bed. Next thing you know, it barks again after 15 minutes. It needed to piss again. So, i repeated the same routine and put it back to sleep after awhile. The problem is that it repeated the routine so many times that i didn't realize that it was already 7AM by then, and i had to go to church at 8AM. So, i told my mom that i will go for the 11.30AM mass at church instead, because i was too sleepy to even walk. Unfortunately, i overslept and missed that mass as well, but i went for the 5.30PM mass.

So, the lesson learnt is that we should never commit ourselves to 'young' beings of any kind this early in life. We'll regret it. I can't imagine doing that for more than 1 night. Now i know what it feels like to have a baby in the house. Parents have sleepless nights. Life is unkind sometimes lol!

But i love the puppy. I can't blame her for what she does everytime i look into her eyes. My heart just melts. I like the way when i was so tired that night that i just slept for awhile on the floor while taking care of her. She was playing around in my room that time and when she saw me sleeping, she came and slept beside me. She was so cute.

Massager from hell...

I recently met this Chinese physician who studied in China for 20 years. He's actually my uncle's friend. So, he read my palm and told me about the health problems that i had. He said that i had back pains that were caused by damaged nerves on my back. He said that my blood wasn't circulating properly there. He recommended a massage, so i thought that a massage won't be so bad since that everything he said was true, I've been having back pains for years due to my injuries when i was actively playing football (now so old ready, can't play like last time LOL!).

Anyway, he began his treatment and to my surprise he said that my body was too tough and he couldn't massage it properly. So, he recommended another method... to my horror he used the edge of a porcelain bowl to scrape my back to stimulate the nerve and remove clogs. The pain was excruciating. I was screaming all the way. When i was admitted into the hospital when i was in Form 3, the doctors used to stab me with needles like crazy and i got used to it, it got to the point where i enjoyed being stabbed like that. I even got stabbed with a needle through my backbone and through my knee cap. But the pain that i was going through during this massage surpassed all the stabbing pains that I've gone through. My back was blue-black when he finished. He even did it on my ribs and it was sore for 1 week. But amazingly, my back pains went away instantly and i felt better.

He also told me some other things about my future when he read my palm. But I'm not putting any bets on it because I'd like to create my own future. I guess going through the pain was worth it. So, anyone want a massage like that? :P

My back after the massage. Full of bumps and bruises. Fully blue-black.

What people think of IT students?

People think that studying IT is easy and all you need to learn is to switch on and switch off a PC. It's funny how we IT students have to spend 3 to 4 years studying a RM50,000 (on average) degree program and all we get in return are insults and... more insults. Here are some other perceptions that people have about IT graduates:



We need to answer stupid questions

No matter how stupid a question can be, IT people are expected to answer it without actually using any technical terms. Makes us IT people look like the bigger idiots.

Example: "Why when i want to print the screen say printer not found? The printer right next to my PC what? This PC blind ah?!!!" asks the employer. "Did you switch on the printer?" answers the IT technician. "Oh, need to switch on ah? Why never say earlier wan? Next time write down for me ok?" answers the employer. Then the IT technician walks away and repeatedly hits his head against a cement wall.





We need to be able to solve any PC problems, no matter how far we are from the scene

Even when we're stuck in a remote location (even on a tropical island with no modern civilization), we're expected to solve PC problems but visualizing the PC in our heads guided by the 'vivid' and 'meaningful' descriptions given by the person who need the quick fix.

Example: After a 12 hour day of work, the IT technician finally gets to rest his head in his bedroom in house own house... he falls asleep... out of the blue, he receives a phone call from his employer... at 2AM IN THE MORNING!!! The conversation: "Why my PC can switch on but nothing appear on the screen wan?" asks the employer. "I'm not sure sir, i can't see what's wrong from here, i will check it as soon as i reach the office in the morning" says the IT technician. "Haiyah, this problem also cannot fix ah? Why you learn IT then? I wan watch movie now you know." says the employer and slams down the phone. The IT technician hits his head against the wall repeatedly... again.





We are given the 'unemployable' status even before we graduate

Most non-IT people say that there are too many unemployed IT graduates in the country now. Well, thats rubbish. Only the noob local uni student who aren't able to communicate well, because they were so 'spoon fed' by the government are unemployed. Private uni or college IT student almost never have a problem landing a job here and overseas because the job market for IT is growing rapidly these days. IT sectors like software engineering and networking are in need of graduates. So, please don't spread rumors like "Don't study IT la, my father said that Malaysia got 50,000 IT students who cannot get job wan. Do business la, my father say can get 5 figure pay after we graduate. I wan to be like that  Donald Trump fella la, he own McDonald rite?".







So overall, as an IT student myself, i get bombarded with silly questions sometimes, i don't mind answering them but i wish that the questions were a bit more logical. I enjoy studying IT and i know IT has a very bright future ahead. And please don't blame technicians or other IT personnel when your PC problems cannot be fixed. We're only human, not God :-)

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Life at 22...

So, how’s life at 22 so far? I guess it’s a whole new learning experience. I’ve only just started my 22nd year and I can already say that there have been many ups and downs this year. I guess this learning experience helps us to grow. It can be painful at times, it can be pleasurable also. I would never say that I’ve been through everything life has to offer, I would say I’m just going through it, taking a crash-course. I really don’t mind going through all these hurdles, it teaches me. So, is the process of getting older life’s greatest pitfall? I don’t think so. We have to bury our past, embrace the present and look forward to the future. Wouldn’t you agree? :-)

Well, I guess my plans for the remaining period of this year would be to focus on the things that matter most to me, my family, my friends and my studies. I guess the others can wait; I’ll leave those to years 24 and 25. I’m optimistic about what I want to do in the future and now is the best time to start laying out those building blocks. I’m still thinking of migrating to Australia after my degree, I’ve got to weigh the pros and the cons first. That's something to aim for. Other than that, I’ll take it one at a time and relax. I hope you can do the same cause Fred Durst once sang:”Life is a lesson, you’ll learn it when you’re through”. He’s right.

Thanx for a great Birthday!

I would really like to thank Adrian, Li Yi and Pei Yee for such a great Birthday 'party' this year. Although it was slightly unorthodox but it was great fun! I really don't know how to thank these people, they really made my day.

Well, it started off at 11PM when they fetched me from my house. Then we went all the way to Sunway Pyramid and realized that the shops there were closing (serious, it wasn't my idea :P). Then i suggested that we head down to Asia Cafe in SS15. So we went there and sat down, ordered drink and chatted. Then they conspired against me in a language i didn't understand, like executioners planning how to execute me LOL! Then Li Yi and Pei Yee disappeared for awhile, against my wishes. 15 minutes (yes 15 mins, their shopping instincts took over :P) later, they came back with something in a plastic bag.

Guess what was inside? A bubble blowing toy and a packet of condoms LOL! Totally unexpected but really cool. I prefer these kinds of stuff coz they more exciting than the conventional stuffed toys and ultraman figurines that we usually buy for a someone's Bday. Anyway, we then headed down to Padang Asam in SS14 (yes, sounds very nostalgic) to.... BLOW BUBBLE! (naughty naughty! what were u thinking?... yes, the condom packet always comes to mind 1st before the bubble blowing toy :P). We noticed that Padang Asam was too dark to play bubbles anyway, so we drove to the USJ4 field near my house. We arrived there about 12.30AM or 1AM and started having a bubble blowing session. We literally tried to blow bubbles at each other's face to see who could be the best bubble blower LOL! Me, Pei Yee and Li Yi were blowing bubbles like machine guns... unfortunatly, Adrian had no previous experience of blowing bubbles LOL! So, i took him 5 mins to blow 1 bubble. We were screaming and chasing each other around like we were in primary school and i hope that we didn't piss off any neighbors :P We went back home at about 1.30AM.

It was really fun and its pleasantly different from what i did for my previous Bdays. Friends forever! THANKS A LOT!

Here are the blurry pics we took with my phone (Adrian, sorry that there were no clear shots of u) :

Li Yi and Pei Yee trying to play CS but with bubbles :P


The only shot with me in it... Adrian, what were u doing with the camera :P


Li Yi, bubbles can't kill people la! LOL!

Melaka Trip (11.04.2007)

The story starts out as 4 frens set out to journey into the unknown, for unknown reasons. LOL! Basically, me, Li Yi, Adrian and Amanda ventured to Melaka disparate to find something people call 'fun'. We stepped out of Subang at 10AM on Wednesday (11.04.2007) and we traveled for like bloody 2.5 hrs. When we reached there we decided to have a soul satisfying lunch... Chicken Rice Ball. The meal was great but someone told us later that the shop that we went to didn't serve the best Chicken Rice Balls... LOL!

Then we went all the way to MMU, which was like in a different state coz of the distance... joking, its still in Melaka. We met Desmond and Kit Wen there and brought them back to our hotel in Melaka. We had 3 dinners... 1st was Char Siu Rice... 2nd was suppose to be Satay Celup but little did we know that the shops close on Wednesdays. So we went for Fish Ball Mee. LOL! The 3rd dinner was Carlberg and Cho Tai Ti (LOL! Played at the hotel). Then we went around town snapping pictures of our group like mad people, even the trishaw people were laughing at us, mind u this was at 12PM. By the end of the nite, we were so tired that we were talking nonsense. Slept at 3AM. The next morning we got up to have Western Breakfast at the hotel. Checked out of the hotel and decided to go to Jonker Street for shopping (for the gurls) and then to go for a swim at PD. But it literally took us hrs to get to PD after using a road that we've nvr taken b4 LOL! But then we reached PD and we had a lot of fun on the beach.

It was a great trip, can't ever forget it. Thanx to Adrian (we're machas 4eva!), Li Yi (although i bully u a lot, u're still very dear to me), Pei Yee (i always have loads of fun wit u especially when we bully Li Yi LOL!), Desmond (u spent so much of ur time and money on us there and i really appreciate it bro! Best frens for life!) and Kit Wen (so quiet but u're still one of us). I hope that there will be many more trips like this. Frens 4 life!

Adrian, Me and Desmond chilling on the bed... we didnt do anything more than that...


Kit Wen, Li Yi, Amanda, Adrian and Me

10 Things I Like About You...

I like the way you speak soft and sweet, makes me melt within a heart beat;

I like the way you wait for me, staying up all night to make sure i sleep;

I like the way you bug me to serenade you, then hear you laugh out while i weep;

I like the way you talk for hours, 5 minutes apart we can hardly bare;

I like the way you that you're so pure, God's angel sent to watch over me;

I like the way you teach me things, makes me want to be better someday;



I like the way you care for me, caring for me when no one will;



I like the way you humble yourself, showing me how good a person you are;



I like the way you oversee my weaknesses, judging not my past regrets;



Most of all, i love you because you make me happy, a blessing like you i will forever keep...

So, whats the craziest thing you've done lately?

In the movie Girl Next Door (2004) Elisha Cuthbert (who plays Danille) asked "What's the craziest thing you've done lately?". Emile Hirsch (who plays Matthew Kidman) couldn't answer her, because he was always uptight and straight, never did anything people didn't expect him to do, just follows the rule book. It got me thinking, when we reach old age, maybe around 60 or 70, are we going to be the kind of person that says "I don't mind dying now, I've done everything and i regret nothing" or are we going to be the kind of person that says "I don't want to die now. I haven't done this, i haven't done that... I haven't lived enough". I started doing things that people didn't expect me to do... crazy things... some stupid, some daring... but its not to show that i have some guts, i do it so that one day i can say "I did everything and i regret nothing".



But my idea of the craziest thing I've done changed recently, i found out that its not about doing stupid things, its about finding something you really care about and risking all you've got to hold on to it. So, whats the thing that has changed me? I fell in love for real this time, and finally its not one sided. I call it the craziest thing i've done lately no because i'm playing it like a game, its because it has changed me into a better person. Love is crazy, sometimes there's ups and sometimes there's downs, but its really worth all the effort in the world because i know she's worth it.



In the same movie, Emile Hirsch made a speech about Moral Fiber. He said:



"Moral fiber. So, what is moral fiber? It's funny, I used to think it was always telling the truth, doing good deeds, basically

being a fucking boy scout. But lately I've been seeing it differently.

Now I think moral fiber's about finding that one thing you really care

about. That one special thing that means more to you than anything else

in the world. And when you find her, you fight for her. You risk it

all, you put her in front of everything, your life, all of it. And

maybe the stuff you do to help her isn't so clean. You know what? It

doesn't matter. Because in your heart you know, that the juice is worth

the squeeze. That's what moral fiber's all about."



Thats what I'm doing now. I know that the juice is worth the squeeze. She's the one that I'd risk everything for. Although i might not have been a good person in the past but I'm changing into one bit by but each day because of the love and care she shows me. I just hope that I'll be a man worthy of her one fine day. Then i'll take her hand, and never let go. I know we're meant to be together...



Thanx for everything... you know who you are :)

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Lily Allen - Alfie..... quite funny.... LOL!

Hey, check out this video clip by Lily Allen. The song is called Alfie. Its really bloody funny. Her acsent is quite heavy but try to understand the lyrics coz its that funny... enjoy.... btw, the funny part is not her voice, its actually the lyrics and the video. Check it out! Comment on it if u can :)

A new Firefox toolbar for blogs called Performancing

This new toolbar by Firefox makes blogging so much easier. No need to login to blogger.com. Just post from your Firefox browser and it does all the transactions for you. Its attached to your browser so no need to open another program (you can open or close it whenever you want). Try it out! Support open-source softwares! Die Microsoft!

P.s. Yes, i'm still using Windows XP LOL!




Click on the pic for a bigger view.

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Brave Young Knight (Poem)

Brave Young Knight

When the world comes down on you,
And you feel like drowning,
Remember your knight is here for you,
Fighting all that causes you mourning.

He will banish the darkness,
Withstand all bitterness,
Wipe away your wariness,
Sweep you away to happiness.

Thus, do not forsake your brave young knight,
Begs merely a chance to be by your side,
To his beloved, he attends to day and night,
Hoping and never wanting to be brushing aside.

Author: Jonathan A. Nathan



Mi Amor was the inspiration for this poem and i hope she likes it. It's about sharing pain and sadness with the one you love, and i guess it also applies to happiness.

Enjoy!


P.s. I've created a new blog for my collection of self-written poems at http://poemsbyjonathannathan.blogspot.com/
So if u wanna read my previous poems, you can go there.

Mi Amor... te quiero...

You know, all this time i thought I've got love and life all figured out and that nothing new can change me. Well, i was wrong. . Mi Amor taught me that love is vastly unexplored and that love from her makes me want to be a better person so that I'm worth enough to stand beside her. Everyday she does the sweetest things to make me smile and thank God that he sent his loveliest angel to be with me. Now, every morning i wake up pinching myself, is this an amazing dream or is this sweet reality. She's very sweet, kind, thoughtful, smart, beautiful, caring, full of joy and i can't stay away from her even for 5 seconds. It melts me when I'm sitting in class listening to a boring lecture and suddenly i get this sms from her saying that she misses me, i absolutely love it. When i'm awake i think about her, when I'm asleep i dream about her... never felt like this before. I like the way we say lovely things to each other in Spanish. I like the way we quietly listen to our favourite song (RBD - Tu Amor) together. Mi Amor, i'm going crazy...

Estarás siempre en mi corazón
(You will be always in my heart)

Te echo de menos
(i miss you)

I'm back... bloging again!

I’m finally bloging again after a long absence. Well, life has been like a rollercoaster lately. My CCNA tests have been battering me every week and I can hardly stand. But the rewards of the CCNA cert can be well savoured after I finish… well, that’s a long way off. I really don’t wanna get ahead of myself.

Other than that, I’ve been depress about something but I guess I shouldn’t write it here coz its kinda personal. Haiyah, if u really wanna know just drop by my msn n I’ll tell u la… so curious la u ppl LOL! But I’ve learnt that we can’t always get what we want, and no matter how much we try to forget it, its still something very special that will stick with you till the day you die… I know, it sounds confusing… well, D-day is approaching and I’ve set it at 24^th of this month… if I still can’t get what I want… then I’ll try to let go…

On the bright side, I might be heading down to Sarawak for my sem break with a few friends. Its gonna be fun so im really looking forward to finish this bloody sem. Rest and relaxation… that’s what I need.

Peace! :P

Farewell Naresh

After 7 farewell parties, 3 people passing away, dozens of road accidents happening in front of him, and getting an unlimited amount of summons for his ‘perfect’ driving skills, all in a short period of a few months, he finally managed to leave this country to further his studies in NZ. It’s a great move for him because it will provide him with a better and more successful future.

I guess I’ll miss him because we were the best of friends; we were never even apart for more than a week. We always did stupid but fun things together no matter what the consequences. I remember how he used to be the best student in class, counting from the back, and I would be behind him (so basically we were the last in class). I used to sneak out of my house to go for mamak with this guy and some friends for nuts, but we never got caught. We used to skip school, walking out the front gate, just because we got bored of the plain canteen food, and we’d end up at a mamak shop having roti canai. After the roti canai session, we would be too lazy to go back to school, so we would just walk to the cyber café instead.

Thinking about all these old memories and about him, I would say that I would never find another friend like him in this world and I really appreciate this friendship. I hope that we can reunite in the future when we finish our studies, and maybe be business partners, that would be really nice. Friends forever, buddy! And good luck in whatever you do in NZ.

My latest poem, An Intruder Called Love

An Intruder Called Love

On an unwary day,
It appeared to me,
Like a thief on a dark day,
It stole the whole of me.

Bewildered by a new feeling,
Overwhelmed with new hope,
Started my journey of fulfilling,
This blessed gift some call ‘love’.

Burning inside me I can feel,
Love’s true passion scorching my soul,
Ready to do whatever I will,
To have my love forever to hold.

Sometimes I wonder what good I have done,
To receive a love so purely divine,
Though good looks and gold I have none,
Still hoping someday she’ll be mine.

Deeper and deeper I fall each day,
Departing from you makes me blue,
Claim your heart one day I may,
That will be my dream come true.

I’ll end this by saying my love is true,
Till my last breath I breathe for you,
Doubt not my feelings for it’s a clue,
That I’ll never forsake my love for you.



Spent about 4 hours pouring out my feelings to write this and I’m still not happy with the final result. I’m still working on improving it a bit, because I know it’s not that great yet. If anyone has some ideas on how I could change the words or anything to improve it, let me know, maybe I’ll let you be a co-author, if your idea is accepted that is… hehehehe!

Thanks for reading it

P.S. I swear I wrote it myself, no plagiarism… LOL!

I feel like shite...

Hurmmm... sumtimes life is so unfair. The best thing that could ever happen to me was just dangling in front of me, but when I reached out to touch it i realised that its untouchable, an illusion. I guess its normal to feel burnt, crushed n broken down when these kinda things happen but I’m glad that illusion didn't fade away, i can still see it, but its like 'see no touch, touch no see'.  How I wish the world were different. I know I’m not worthy of the illusion, and I respect that fact now. I just don't want that illusion to leave me for good coz i really love its presence in my life; it made me a better man. Illusion, i will always love u no matter wat...

We don't have all the answers...

Sometimes we think that we have the answers to everything. We’re confident that we are the best at what we do and we don’t need anyone to tell us that we’re wrong. Well, that’s the dumbest thing humans do. Humans were designed to be learning creatures, because knowledge and wisdom knows no boundaries. No one can be declared the smartest person in the world because smartness is not calculated with a mathematical formula, but by what we see and hear in our everyday lives. Sometimes, it’s nice to sit and listen, and not say a word. It will teach you and fascinate you.

Don’t shut out the world, be open to the numerous possibilities out there and do not dispose of any thought, thinking that it is useless; it could be a spark to greater heights.


The lesson:

"The more you think you know about something, the more you know that you don’t know everything"

Lesson to learn...

Expectancy is the key to disappointment. I mean, the more you expect something, the more likely it is for you to be left empty handed and bitter. People always expect things to be done for them but people who can’t say ‘no’ to them, your boss, your family, your loved one. That cycle should be broken and people should be allowed to say ‘no’, regardless of the reason, because what is the point of living if we don’t have choices in our lives. We should dictate how we live, not other people. We should be who we actually are, and not someone who other people like because we always please them. We’re not made to be pretenders. Boundaries should be clearly defined to keep us from falling into the slavery of always pleasing others before ourselves. Learning how to say ‘yes’ is always easy, learning how to say ‘no’ will be difficult because others won’t let us say it. So, that’s what I’m learning now.

I've found my way...

Falling in love is a lot easier than falling out of it. The memories last forever. Even if you try to move on, there’s always something that holds you back. You can never forget someone who has made a change in your life. No matter who you will be with in the future, the person that you let go made you the person that you are in the future. I have done my best to let go, I finally did, but somehow she still lingers in my heart. It hurts to let go, I can’t deny that, but it hurts even more to hope that someday we will be together. Which one is worse? I can’t choose. It hurts all the same. It has drained me mentally, emotionally and physically. I couldn’t hold on to this insanity any longer, I’m losing my grip, but now, I’ve bounced back, I’ve reclaimed my soul and my identity. I feel that the burden has been lifted. Now I can focus on myself for once. So, basically I’m back to my old self.  

A tribute to my best friends...

What is friendship to you? Well, to me, friendship is:

Never having to say I am sorry because I know they've already forgiven me;
Never having to say I need you because I know they're willing to sacrifice the world for me;
Never having to say I appreciate you because I know they'll stick around for me;
Never having to say I don't want you to go because I know they'll always be bugging me;
Above all, never having to say you're my best friend because I know that the feeling is mutual.

Somehow when best friends depart, there is the feeling of emptiness that can never filled, not even by the greatest love. Friendship dwells on a level higher than love itself. It demands unspoken acts of patients, respect, admiration, appreciation, modesty, compassion, and mutual understanding. Some people say friendship does not last forever and that good things always come to a better end. I say friendship looks not with the eyes, but with the heart. That’s where friendship comes from and it stays there till you take it with you to your grave.

I feel sad that my best friends (most of them) have left and won’t be coming back for a long time. I just saw them not too long ago and I already miss them so dearly. I know that they’re always with me in heart and soul but it’s depressing to think that they can’t be around us physically. I never told them how much their friendship means to me (they’ll probably just laugh when I say this… hehehe!) but every time I think of the good times we had together, I smile to myself hoping that we’ll be together again one fine day, and that hope is what I live for.

Sattiya, Me & Naresh... We've been through storms together...

The Matcha Gang (Suresh, Cassie, Lingam, Sattiya, Edmond, Me & Naresh)!

My dear 'sis' Kanchan, my guardian angel...

Suraya, my dreamgurl, I'd go insane without you by my side...

Thanks guys and gals for every thing we did together and I’ll come back to haunt you even if I die before you… hehehe! Take care and God bless.

Good friends start their sentences with "I", best friends start heir sentences with "We".

Romantic Ideas & Gifts

Here is our list of the 10 most romantic ideas and gifts:

1. Something Original
Name a star after your sweetheart :
International Star Registry



2. Message In A Bottle
Romantic, mysterious, and intriguing :
Timeless Message


3. Gold Roses
Real roses preserved in 24kt gold :
RomanceHer.com
LoveIsARose.com


4. Teddy Bears
Beautifully packaged, with personalized message :
Bear Affection


5. Love Greeting Cards
Send a beautiful greeting card for free :
SuperLaugh.com


6. Flowers
Over 1000 flower arrangements online :
JustFlowers.com



7. Books
For "fairy tale" relationships :
Men Made Easy
300 Creative Dates
Perfect Love Letters
The Woman Men Adore
Bring Back A Lost Love
How To Get Your Ex Back
Single Man's Guide To Great Women


8. Engraved Gifts
Lockets, keepsake boxes, frames, candle holders, etc. :
(Gifts can be personalized,
engraved, or monogrammed for no extra charge. Enjoy free shipping on orders over $75.)
Engravable Gift Collection


9. Gourmet French Chocolates
Hand-crafted by world-champion, French artisans
(They claim to make the world's best chocolates) :
zChocolat

Learn about the various pieces :
zChocolates Guide


10. Online Massage Lessons
Step by step video instructions for a memorable massage
(15 Lesson Workshop, Limited Time Offer: $25 US) :
Learn Massage Online


Want More?
For additional romantic ideas, check out AskMen.com.

Whats going on these days... Just an update

I actually enjoyed myself this semester at college. Bonding with my new friends in college was really fun, especially for my Project Management subject. I worked with the best team members in the class and the best Project Manager, me… LOL! But seriously, my team members were very dedicated and hardworking. The actually accepted the orders and workload that I gave each of them without question and executed them perfectly. Thanks to Yoges, Christina, Jason and Keanne. I hope to be your Project Manager in future assignments as well LOL! But I still did work ok… a lot of work…

I’ve managed to conquer whatever depression I had and I’ve decided to make myself stronger and more confident. Thanks to the people around me (mainly my close friends like Suraya, Cassie, Ashley, Niff and Yew Fei), my life now is a lot better. Friends always!

What else… my exam is coming soon. 31^st October to be precise. Starting on 1^st November, I’ll be on a 2 month holiday… errrrr…. I want to work but… it’s hard to find a good job these days. I guess I’ll just have to keep looking. I can’t imagine sitting at home for 2 months… I’ll go crazy within the 1^st week.

Hmmm… suddently I have this craving to learn Spanish. I also want to learn Flash programming. That will give me something to do for the holidays. Some online tutorials would help I guess.

My Birthdate Meaning...

16 April 1985

Your date of conception was on or about 24 July 1984 which was a Tuesday.

You were born on a Tuesday
under the astrological sign Aries.
Your Life path number is 7.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2446171.5.
The golden number for 1985 is 10.
The epact number for 1985 is 8.
The year 1985 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/20/1985 and ending 2/8/1986.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Ox.
Your Native American Zodiac sign is Hawk; your plant is Dandelion.
You were born in the Egyptian month of Paony, the second month of the season of Shomu (Harvest).


As of 9/22/2006 5:30:08 AM EDT
You are 21 years old.
You are 257 months old.
You are 1,118 weeks old.
You are 7,829 days old.
You are 187,901 hours old.
You are 11,274,090 minutes old.
You are 676,445,408 seconds old.
Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.06418786692759 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

Your birthstone is Diamond

The Mystical properties of Diamond

Diamonds are said to increase personal clarity to help one see things clearly as well as be straight-forward and honest. Supposedly, the higher quality the diamond, the better it is supports these qualities.

Your birth tree is
Maple, Independence of Mind

No ordinary person, full imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-respect, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, many complexes, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

My latest literature creation... my new poem

If She Were Mine

Kiss her when I’m loving her,
Heed her when I’m broken down,
Feel her when I’m lonely,
Hold her when I’m fearful.

Touch her when I’m needing her,
Clutch her when I’m fallen,
Hug her when I’m chilly,
Tickle her when I’m joyful.

Tell her when I’m proud of her,
Seek her when I’m unseen,
Trust her when I’m plunging swiftly,
Dream her when I’m blissful.



Author: Jonathan Nathan



I’d rather call it a sonnet rather than a poem, because I used synecdoche. This effort is my best by far. I hope that it draws criticism as well as inspiration. It’s not perfect, but it’s fruitful. Feel free to suggest changes or new verses (your name will be accredited to it also), but send it to my email so that its easier for my to reply.

I'd Do This For My Gurl...

• KISS HER IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS.
• TRUST HER 0VER EVERY0NE ELSE.
• TELL HER SHE L00KS BEAUTIFUL EVERY SINGLE DAY.
• LOOK INTO HER EYES WHEN I TALK TO HER.
• TELL HER STUPID J0KES T0 MAKE HER LAUGH.
• LET HER MESS WITH MY HAIR.MESS WITH HER HAIR.
• TAKE LONG WALKS ALONE WITH HER.
• INCLUDE HER IN ALL THINGS I DO.
• TELL HER THAT I VALUE HER OPINIONS WHEN I MAKE HARD DECISIONS.
• WHEN SHE CRYS DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE HER SMILE.
• FORGIVE HER FOR HER MISTAKES.
• LOOK AT HER LIKE SHE'S THE ONLY GIRL I SEE.
• TICKLE HER EVEN WHEN SHE SAYS STOP.
• HOLD HER HAND EVEN WHEN WE'RE AROUND HER FRIENDS.
• WHEN SHE STARTS SWEARING AT ME, I’LL TELL HER I LOVE HER.
• LET HER FALL ASLEEP IN MY ARMS.
• WATCH HER SLEEP AND BE AMAZED BY HER BEAUTY.
• GET HER MAD, THEN KISS HER.
• TEASE HER & LET HER TEASE ME BACK.
• ALWAYS GIVE IN TO HER WHEN WE PLAY GAMES.
• WATCH ‘CHICK FLICKS’ WITH HER JUST BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO.
• STAY UP WITH HER ALL NIGHT WHEN SHE’S SICK.
• WATCH HER FAV0RITE M0VIE WITH HER OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
• KISS HER F0REHEAD AND TELL HER I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT HER.
• GIVE HER THE WORLD AND MUCH MORE.WRITE HER LOVE LETTERS.
• LET HER WEAR MY CLOTHES.
• WHEN SHES SAD, COMFORT HER AND TELL HER THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.
• LET HER KN0W SHE'S VERY IMP0RTANT TO ME.
• LET HER TAKE ALL THE PH0T0S OF ME SHE WANTS.
• KISS HER IN THE RAIN.
• KISS HER UNDER THE STARS.
• CALL HER EVERY NIGHT JUST TO SAY ‘GOOD NIGHT AND SWEET DREAMS’.
• CARRY HER BURDEN WHEN SHE FEELS LIKE THE WORLD IS COMING DOWN ON HER.
• TAKE HER DARKEST NIGHT AND MAKE IT BRIGHT FOR HER.
• BE HER KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR.

Congrads to Hannah Tan! Malaysia’s Sexiest Woman 2006!

I’ve been a fan of hers for a very long time now. To finally see her on the cover of FHM Magazine for being Malaysia’s Sexiest Woman 2006 (as voted online by Malaysians), it’s amazing.

She’s beautiful I have to admit (Miss Malaysia Petite 2002/2003 – Winner, Miss Global Petite International World Finals 2002/2003 – 2nd Runner Up) but the reason she’s so amazing to me is because she’s really brainy and has a great personality. She studied Information Systems at KDU and she maintained a 4.0 GPA. She must be the world’s most beautiful geek-chick. She’s an actress, beauty queen, model, singer and TV hostess. If had a chance to meet someone I admire, I would defiantly choose Hannah. She’s just so gorgeous.

Personal Info:
Nationality: Malaysian
Race: Chinese-Kelabit
Place of Birth: Penang
Date of Birth: 25th October
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Hair Length: Long, past-shoulder
Hair Texture: Thick, straight
Eye Color: Brown
Skin Color: Light tan
Skin Type: Combination
Dress Size: S
Swimsuit Size: S
Shoe Size: 5-6 (depending on type of shoe)


Measurements:
Height: 5 feet 4 inches
Weight: 47 kilograms
Bust: 34 inches
Waist: 24 inches
Hips: 34 inches
Collar: 13 inches
Shoulder: 16 inches
Neck to Waist: 16 inches
Inseam: 24.5 inches
Out seam: 35 inches


Academic Info:
Bsc. (Hons.) in Computing and Information Systems
University of Lincolnshire and Humberside UK/KDU College Penang

Higher Diploma in Computer Studies
KDU College Penang (Graduation Class Distinction, GPA 4.0)

International Advanced Diploma in Computer Studies
NCC (Correspondence self-study with the National Computing Centre in UK)
Graduation Class Distinction

International Diploma in Computer Studies
NCC (Correspondence self-study with the National Computing Centre in UK)
Graduation Class Distinction

KDU Overall Top Student Valedictorian Award
July 2001

KDU Merit Scholarship Award
August 2000
April 2000
January 2000
August 1999
April 1999


Pageant Achievements:
Miss Global Petite International World Finals 2002/2003 (Montreal, CANADA)
2nd Runner-up
1 Subsidiary Title (Miss Congeniality)

Miss Malaysia Petite 2002/2003
Winner
1 Subsidiary Title

Miss Perak Petite 2002/2003
Winner
1 Subsidiary Title

Miss Penang Pesta Millennium 2001/2002
Winner
4 Subsidiary Titles

For more info, check out: http://www.hannahsarahtan.com

What the heck I did during my holidays… ermmm…

Basically nothing… for 3 weeks! Maybe the highlight of the holiday period was when I finished Diablo II. I think I would have broken the whole record by finishing the game at level 26, while everyone I know finished it only after level 40 or 50. So the feeling of accomplishing that was really amazing. It’s like I actually achieved something. “I came, I saw, I conquered!”

Besides that my recent trip to Port Dickson with my cousins was fun, although I came back with a bruised foot (after playing football on the beach). We experimented with my cousins’ dogs by testing if dogs are natural swimmers. Lol! I know, it’s stupid. We took the dogs out to sea and dumped them in the water; they enjoyed playing fetch with a plastic ball in the middle of the sea.

That’s about it for my holiday highlights… I basically did nothing (I told you!). I actually miss going to college… I want studies (No, I’m not high!) and I miss looking at the chicks in college. I’m going back to college this Monday. So, I hope that this semester is going to be a good one.