Friday, December 30, 2005

Tests i took on Twinkle

Quiz: The Super IQ Test
Jonathan, your Super IQ score is 105!
Your overall intelligence quotient is the result of a scientifically tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly. But it's only part of what we learned about you from your answers on the test. We also determined the way you process information.The way you think about things makes you an Original Thinker. This means you're a naturally abstract thinker. You pick up visual detail that others routinely miss. You're also very good at making connections that don't already exist, and you have your own ideas of how the world works. While your talents matter greatly in real life, they are sometimes overlooked in less thorough intelligence tests.

How did we determine that your thinking style is that of an Original Thinker? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you an Original Thinker. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.
A test I took on Twinkle:

Quiz: Who's Your Movie Star Double?
Jonathan, your movie star double is Chris Klein!
A space cadet (in the nicest sense of the word) like you needs to be played by someone who has his own positive outlook on life, someone who is completely loyal, someone who is unbelievably endearing, someone like Chris Klein.Whether he's palling around with his buddies in movies like Election, or playing the ultra sweet crooner in American Pie, Chris has the right stuff to play the part of someone who's seemingly clueless at times, but oddly intuitive when it matters most.Like the roles that Chris has made famous, you might tend to get preoccupied when people are talking around you. But who cares if you jump back into the conversation with a slightly bizarre comment or two? It just means your mind has been wandering in interesting places. You, like Chris in his supporting roles, probably prefer to dedicate your full attention to the things that give you the most joy: your friends, your family, or a cause you're dedicated to. But ultimately, that's part of what attracts people to you and why they love having your good heart and supersensitive brain around. And that's also why Chris Klein is a shoe-in to star in the movie of your life.
A test I took on Twinkle:

Quiz: What is your color?
Jonathan, your true color is Red!
Your color is red, the color of racy sportscars, blushing cheeks, and luscious roses. Red symbolizes passion, romance, and love. So, since you're ruled by red, you probably trust your feelings more than your brain and tend to act spontaneously. If you see something you want, you go for it without thinking twice — impulsive is your middle name. You don't wait around for people to make decisions, either; you dive right in. Quite the romantic, you pay close attention to your emotions. In fact, if your heart isn't in what you're doing, you won't be satisfied. Of course, even when you do pour all your energy into the projects you tackle, your impetuous nature means your passions can shift as frequently as the wind. That's why some reds have trouble with commitment. Our advice? Next time you're feeling fickle, think before you act, if possible. You might be surprised at the results. Overall, though, it's great to be red. No one lives life more completely than you do.
A test I took on Twinkle:

Quiz: Are you a sex-smart man?
Jonathan, you're a Total High!
Congratulations! Communication is key to any successful and healthy relationship, sexual or otherwise. You seem to know this and take it seriously - forthright and open communication seems to be your strength. You are probably someone who speaks your mind and is not afraid to ask or answer potentially awkward questions. When it comes to sex, you seem to be someone who wants to exchange as much information as possible with your potential partner(s) before becoming intimate. This is positive because it allows you to make fully informed decisions about your sexual health. Keep on talking!
Way to go! Taking responsibility for your sexual health includes taking direct action - being an actor rather than a reactor. This could be anything from bringing up topics to discuss with your partner(s), consistently using protective measures in sex, or deciding not to have sex at all. You seem to be someone who initiates action in maintaining or protecting your sexual health. This could indicate an understanding that you alone are responsible for your health. Being proactive on your own behalf indicates a level of self-esteem that probably serves you well in your sexual relationships (and your other relationships as well).
Good job! No matter how well you communicate or how proactive you are in protecting yourself in sexual situations, it won't matter if you don't have accurate knowledge about safe sex. You seem to be someone who is familiar with what needs to be done to ensure a high level of safety in your sex life. This is great because you assume responsibility for having the knowledge you need - you don't rely on someone else to have that knowledge or provide that protection. However, there may still be some questions you have. We have compiled information on safe sex issues and protection against sexually transmitted diseases. Click on the link below to access this information.
A test I took on Twinkle:    

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

10 Things I Hate About You

I hate the way you talk to me,
and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick,
it even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you’re always right,
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you’re not around,
and the fact that you didn’t call.
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,
not even close
not even a little bit
not even at all.

Monday, November 28, 2005

I don't want to screw up

Sometimes I feel like I’m the biggest idiot in the world. To get straight to the point: I think I’m pressuring her too much. I mean, I don’t know if she really likes having me around. I never stopped to ask her how she wants me to treat her. Am I being selfish? After thinking about that for the past few days, I feel really guilty. She’s everything that I’ve dreamed of but do I really deserve such a great thing? She deserves only the best, I will give her my best, but is my best good enough? Hmmm… even when I’m away from her, I always wonder, “What is she doing now?”, “How is she feeling now?”, “Has she eaten yet?”, “Does she need me now?”, I can’t help but think about her. I don’t know if she feels the same way but I need to give her time and space. I wouldn’t want to drive her away by pushing her. If I screw this up, hmmm… I’d be miserable. For what it’s worth, I’m so sorry…

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Hannah Tan, make way for...

Remember my previous post on “My New Dream Gurl, Hannah Tan”? Hmmm… I guess Hannah Tan just lost her place in my heart. I’ve found a new dream gurl now. So sorry Hannah Tan! Haha! To my new dream gurl, I wrote you this:

I love the way you make me smile,
The way you whisper sweet words of bliss,
Which makes my day a dream come true.

I love the way you laugh with me,
The way you giggle, it makes me so warm and fuzzy,
Which makes me never want to part with you for life.

I love the way you comfort me,
The way you console and soothe my heart,
Which makes me fall even deeper in love.

I love the way you look at me,
The way you gaze with eyes looking right into me,
Which makes me feel like you want to know everything about me.

Best of all, I love the way you are who you are,
The way you are the best thing that could ever happen to me,
Which makes me ask what I did to deserve a miracle.

John Cena Lyrics

John Cena - Right Now Lyrics

[John Cena]
You can't help but feel it
Can't help but feel this one
Uh-huh uh yeah

Excuse me for a minute while I lighten the mood
Just clap with me like the lightning do, yeah
A bit of soul food that you be bitin into
And if you feel me then I'm writin for you, uh-huh
Right now put another coat of wax on the ride
For a minute put the beef and the gats to the side
Cause this track's got a vibe to chill to
Enjoy life for 5 minutes, man it's not gon' kill you
It's okay to be hard and stay true man
But at the end of the day, we all hu-man
This one's for you, the ones that you close to
Show some love, it's what you supposed to
Right now, forget the ends and the Benz
Pop a cold one, man toast it wit'cha real friends
Call your folks, tell 'em you tight now
Cause everything lookin pretty good right now

[Chorus - sped up vocal sample]

[Tha Trademarc]
Right now baby, we all gon' ride
So place those things on your hips or side
The soul vibe gon' change, give way with fame
But sometimes the moral change or stay the same
Relax baby, right now you here
And sit back baby, with a round of beer
And cheer to those friends who crowded near
For those passed on in spirit they there
It's gon' be what it must, break bread wit'cha crew
If you got kids take the crust
It's all love baby, tell your girl she's strong
And whisper in her ear after dinner it's on
And take it slow baby, cause everything real
When you at family dinner y'all enjoy that meal
Thank God that you healthy and you keepin it tight
And keep your dreams lighthearted when you sleepin at night

[Chorus - sped up vocal sample]

[John Cena]
Yeah - and right now I'm showin love to my brothers and my old
To my girl, "Let's Get it On" like the slow jam
To everybody that I'm runnin down the road with
Y'all my family, I know that you know this
Fox, Rock, B's and Chaos
Y'all growin up with me man, true to life players
Grandma or grandpa watchin up above
Trademarc you my heart cousin, nothin but love

[Tha Trademarc]
Thanks momma, for all that you was
You a strongarm lady baby crazy with love
My sister raised me, those are the facts
And taught me how to rebuild when the order collapsed
And right now I'm blessed no stress no less
And thanks hip-hop for givin me back focus, huh
Yeah John, what can I say?
It's all love from day one, you showed me the way

John Cena - The Time Is Now Lyrics

[Chorus: John Cena]
Your time is up, my time is now
You can't see me, my time is now
It's the franchise, boy I'm shinin now
You can't see me, my time is now!

[John Cena]
In case you forgot or fell off I'm still hot - knock your shell
My money stack fat plus I can't turn the swell off
The franchise, doin big bid'ness, I live this
It's automatic I win this - oh you hear those horns, you
A soldier, and I stay under you fightin
Plus I'm stormin on you chumps like I'm thunder and lightning
Ain't no way you breakin me kid, I'm harder than nails
Plus I keep it on lock, like I'm part of the jail
I'm slaughterin stale, competition, I got the whole block
they could run with my division but they gone fishin -
- with no bait, kid your boy hold weight
I got my soul straight, I brush your mouth like Colgate
In any weather I'm never better your boy's so hot
you'll never catch me in the next man's sweater
If they hate, let 'em hate, I drop ya whole clan
Lay yo' ass DOWN for the three second TAN


[Tha Trademarc]
Yeah, uhh
It's gon' be what it's gon' be
Five pounds of courage buddy, bass tint pants with a gold T
Uhh - it's a war dance and victory step
A raw stance is a gift, when you insist it's my rep
John Cena, Trademarc, y'all are so-so
And talk about the bread you make but don't know the recipe for
dough though
Aimin guns in all your photos, that's a no-no
When this pop, you'll liplock, your big talk's a blatant
See what happens when the ice age melt
You see monetary status is not what matters, but it helps
I rock a timepiece by Benny if any
The same reason y'all could love me is the same reason y'all
condemn me
A man's measured by the way that he thinks
Not clothing lines, ice links, leather and minks
I spent 20 plus years seekin knowledge of self
So for now Marc Predka's livin live for wealth

[Chorus - repeat 2X]

Friday, November 25, 2005

What love feels like...

Being in love is like being in heaven. All the symptoms are there. Lack of appetite, lack of sleep, day dreaming… the list goes on. When you love someone you’ll all the crazy things that you can’t explain. You’ll risk it all, no matter what may come. You’ll sacrifice, give it all you’ve got and you won’t think twice. You won’t care about what others think, because you follow what your heart says. Although the future isn’t that clear from where you’re standing, you’d do anything to make it happen, because you feel that she’s worth every single sacrifice that you make. Although you’ve only just got to know her and there’s a lot more to learn about her, you feel like you want to keep knowing her and want to spend time with her, just watching her and learning from her. She’s all you’ve ever wanted in a girl and you just want to have and to hold her as long and as hard as you can, never letting go no matter what happens. If she’s the one, and you’re sure about it, you’ve got to tell her. Don’t tell the best thing that could ever happen to your life just slip away…

Friday, November 18, 2005

I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, what you did…

Don’t seek the differences in people, seek their similarities. That’s my philosophy in life. I really hate discrimination. Racial, religious and cultural differences don’t influence my decisions regarding who like or dislike. Everyone is human, nothing else matters. Wars, crimes and violence often erupt from our difference. We should learn to overlook it. We shouldn’t discriminate people just because he or she is difference from us. Sometimes, even our parents restrict us from befriending people of other beliefs or customs just because our parents are afraid that we will follow their footsteps and forget our roots. I believe that youngsters today have their own perspective on life. They don’t look at skin colour, race and beliefs when they make friends or find love. They’re able to make their own choices in life and learn to live with its consequences. So, parents should learn from their youngsters when it comes to overlooking people’s differences. Don’t you think that the world would be a much better place if everyone roamed the earth freely without having to show passport, no borders in between countries and there’s a mixture of different people in every country. Wouldn’t it bring prosperity and tranquillity? Think about it… its time for the grown-ups to be grown-ups… one colour, one people, one world…

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Meaningful Songs...

I really love the lyrics to these songs. They're so meaningful…

Bryan Adams – When You Love Someone

When you love someone - you'll do anything
You'll do all the crazy things that you can't explain
You'll shoot the moon - put out the sun
When you love someone

You'll deny the truth - believe a lie
There'll be times that you'll believe you can really fly
But your lonely nights - have just begun
When you love someone

When you love someone - you'll feel it deep inside
And nothin else can ever change your mind
When you want someone - when you need someone
When you need someone...

When you love someone - you'll sacrifice
You'd give it everything you got and you won't think twice
You'd risk it all - no matter what my come
When you love someoneYou'll shoot the moon - put out the sun
When you love someone

Cheryl Crow – I Shall Believe

Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe
I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe

That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe

Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key
Never again would I turn away from you I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe

That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time
I try to make it right It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
And I shall believe

Cheryl Crow – The First Cut Is The Deepest

I would have given you all of my heart but there's someone who's torn it apart
And she's taking almost all that
I've got but if you want,
I'll try to love again baby
I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest 'cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed
When it comes to lovin' me she's worst but when it comes to being loved she's first that's how I know
The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest

I still want you by my side just to help me dry the tears that
I've cried cause I'm sure gonna give you a try and if you want,
I'll try to love again but baby,
I'll try to love again, but I know
The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
'Cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed when it comes to lovin' me he's worst but when it comes to being loved she's first that's how
I know The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest

Friday, November 04, 2005

Eric Cantona... The King, The Legend, The Idol...

The man was the most brilliant and influential player of his time. No other player could match his flair and character on and off the field. Opponents feared him, teammates idolised him, and fans worshiped him. Eric Cantona wasn’t just another player; he was the God of Football in England. For me, he’s the undisputed player of the century. If you’ve seen him play, you would defiantly agree with me.

Name: Eric Cantona
Height: 1.88m (6'2")
Weight: 88kg
Born: Marseille, France
Date Of Birth: May 24, 1966


  • AJ Auxerre
  • FC Martigues
  • Olympique Marseille
  • Bordeaux
  • Montpellier
  • Olympique NĂ®mes
  • Leeds United
  • Manchester United

International Debut:
12th August 1987 versus West Germany

International Caps/Goals:
43 Caps/20 Goals

Signed for Manchester United: 27th November 1992.

First Appearance for Manchester United: Versus Benfica in Lisbon, 1st December 1992, a testimonial match for Eusebio.

League Debut for Manchester United: As substitute versus Manchester City, 6th December 1992; United won 2-1.

Appearances Vs. Goal Scored for Manchester United:
App: 182 Goals: 80


  • European Under-21 Championship for France (1988)
  • French Cup for Montpellier (1990)
  • French League for Marseille (1991)
  • English Division One for Leeds (1992)
  • Premier League for Manchester United (1993, 1994, 1996, 1997)
  • FA Cup for Manchester United (1994, 1996)
  • PFA Player of the Year (1994)
  • Footballer of the Year (1996)

Career Highlights:

  • 1983: Makes professional debut for Auxerre
  • 1985: Loaned to Martigues after making just 13 appearances and scoring two goals in three seasons for Auxerre.
  • 1986: Returned to Auxerre and over the next two seasons made 68 appearances and scored 21 goals.
  • 1987: Receives heavy fine for punching his team's goalkeeper, giving him a black eye. Makes his debut for France against West Germany.
  • 1988: Joins Marseille in French record £2million deal. Banned from French team for one year after swearing at national coach Henri Michel .
  • 1989: Suspended indefinitely by Marseille after kicking the ball into the crowd and throwing his shirt at a referee after being substituted. Joins Bordeaux on loan, then moves to Montpellier for £300,000.
  • 1990: Banned by Montpellier for 10 days after smashing his boots into the face of team-mate Jean Claude Lemoult. Returns to Marseille.
  • 1991: Signs for Nimes but is banned for three games after throwing the ball at a referee. At the disciplinary hearing, he walks up to each committee member and says: "Idiot". His ban is increased to two months, so Cantona responds by announcing his retirement from soccer.
  • 1992: Comes out of retirement for a trial with Sheffield Wednesday, but walks out after being asked to remain for a further week and joins Leeds for £900,000. Helps the Elland Road side win the League title before moving to Manchester United in £1.2million deal.
  • 1993: Fined £1,000 by the FA for spitting at a Leeds fan in his first game back at Elland Road with Manchester United, whom he then helps to the Premiership title. Sent off in United's European Cup defeat by Galatasaray in Istanbul, Turkey, for accusing the referee of cheating, scuffles with Turkish police and is banned by UEFA for four European games.
  • 1994: Scores two goals in the 4-0 FA Cup final over Chelsea as United complete the League and Cup double. Voted PFA Player of the Year.
  • 1995: Sent off at Crystal Palace on January 25 after a Kung-Fu kick at fan Matthew Simmons. His actions lead to him being banned from all football until September 30 and fined £10,000 by the FA. A two-week prison sentence for the offence is varied on appeal to 120 hours of community service. Returns to action on October 1 and scores a penalty in a 2-2 draw against Liverpool.
  • 1996: Voted Footballer of the Year by the Football Writers Association and scores winning goal in FA Cup final against Liverpool as United complete the double for the second time in three seasons.
  • 1997: Member of a championship-winning side for the fifth time in six seasons but a week after the Premiership finale, announces his retirement from professional soccer at the age of 30.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Fantasy Vs. Reality

There's a big difference between fantasy and reality. Many of us hope that one fine day, our fantasies will be fulfilled. Well, ask yourself this question... what happens after you have fulfilled that fantasy? What do have to look forward to? Some might say another fantasy but what happens if one day, you've fulfilled all your fantasies and you can't think of anything else? Wouldn't you question the purpose of living? Of course you can enjoy yourself while those fantasies still last but when its over, what will drive you to look forward to the future? You'll have all the pleasures of life behind you, but an empty and uncertain path ahead of you. I believe that some fantasies should remain as fantasies. For example, if you fantasies about having all the money in the world, what happens when you manage to fulfill that dream and you've already bought everything that you wish to buy? Money will still be money and nothing more than that. You can't bring money to the grave. I know that some people might argue that it's best to fulfill ones fantasies before he or she hits 6 feet under, but we don't know when we're going die anyway, so if you fulfill your fantasies too early you'll have nothing to dream of till your final day on this earth. So, that's my philosophy, fulfilling too many fantasies is a dumb thing to do. Enjoy life to the fullest, but also set limits to that. Hmmm... finally... my biggest fantasy is... a day with HST.... haha! That's just a clue. The answer is somewhere in my blog.... HAVE A NICE DAY! :P

My New Dream Gurl, Hannah Tan *drool*

I have never been obsessed (as in fantasised) with Malaysian girls in particular before. My dream girls were mostly European or American (I mean Western) until I met Hannah Sarah Tan. She’s Miss Petite Malaysia (I don’t know which year), she a model, she’s an actress, and she’s a TV program hostess. She’s not only a great beauty but she has Einstein’s brains. Come on, how often do you find that combination? She totally amazed me when I found out about her background. She’s not another dumb model, she’s a model with a 4.0GPA score…. Amazing! Hannah Sarah Tan... *drool*
Here’s what I mean:

Brief Profile:

Name: Hannah Sarah Tan
Date of Birth: 25th October 1981
Place of Birth: Penang, Malaysia
Nationality: Malaysian
Race: Chinese-Kelabit

Pageant Achievements:

  • Miss Global Petite International WorldFinals 2002/2003 (Montreal, CANADA)2nd Runner-up1 Subsidiary Title (Miss Congeniality)
  • Miss Malaysia Petite 2002/2003Winner1 Subsidiary Title
  • Miss Perak Petite 2002/2003Winner1 Subsidiary Title
  • Miss Penang Pesta Millennium 2001/2002Winner4 Subsidiary Titles


  • Bsc. (Hons.) in Computing and Information Systems
  • Higher Diploma in Computer Studies Graduation Class Distinction, GPA 4.0
  • International Advanced Diplomain Computer Studies NCC (Correspondence self-study with the National Computing Centre in UK)Graduation Class DistinctionInternational
  • Diploma inComputer StudiesNCC (Correspondence self-study with the National Computing Centre in UK) Graduation Class Distinction


  • NCC Silver Awards, Malaysia's Second Best Student (August 2002)
  • Valedictorian Award (July 2001)
  • Book Prize Winner, Top Scorer Schoolof Computing and Information Systems (July 2001)
  • NCC Malaysia's Outstanding Student Award (Project Management)(1999 - 2000 Academic Year)
  • Merit Scholarship Award (August 2000, April 2000, January 2000, August 1999, April 1999)

Non-Academic Involvements and Experiences:

YEAR 2005:
Guest, Pillow Talk (Pillow Talk Specials), ntv7Host, Ringgit Sense, TV3Host, Looking Good FeelingGood (new makeover reality show ), ntv7

YEAR 2004:
Sketches, ntv7Guest, Pillow Talk (Season 1), ntv7Guest, Pillow Talk (Season 2), ntv7Guest, Celebrity Squares (ntv7),3 episodesGuest, Latte @ 8 (8TV), 1 episodeHost, Girls' Club, ntv7

Don't you think thats her profile is impressive? I've seen and met many classic beauties in my life. But with Hannah, its different, i guess its becuase of her combination of intelligence, grace, cuteness and radiance that strikes me more. Here are more of her pics:

Hannah's Miss Global PhotoHannah's Nescafe Advert Hannah's Swimsuit Photo... *drool*

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Sometimes I Think I Know Too Much

Sometimes, I wish that I don’t know as much as I know. Does this make sense? Hmmm… I wish that I wasn’t the one people desperately turn to for help and the one that is discarded when they don’t need me. People turn to me for help all the time and most of the time it’s the biggest headache to them but its like peanuts to me. I hate it when the problem is so simple to me and difficult for others. I hate being troubled for no good reason. I don’t mind helping but I don’t like it when the problem is actually not a problem. Then, when I help out, they’re happy for a while, and then they forget me. I hate being used and then discarded like rubbish. I guess the world will never change. I’ll just have to live with it. Sigh!

Sunday, September 25, 2005

A Guide To Roses

We all give roses to people we care about, but half of us don’t know what each colour of a rose means. Here’s the guide, it could be very useful when you want to give someone a hint when you present him or her with a rose:

A yellow rose says, “I just want to be friends with you”

A white rose says, “I admire you”

A pink rose says, “I like you”

A red rose says, “I love you”

Choose wisely….

A Football Headache

To play, or not to play? Hmmm…. looks like an easy decision but it has a lot of complications. I’ve been handed the job of Football Team Manager for my college. I’ve always wanted to manage a football team of my own and now I have the chance to see if I really have what it takes. That’s the easy part. The complications come in when I have to decide whether I’m going to manage only or play in the team as well as manage it. If I decide to play and manage, I would have to get my fitness up to par with the other players and that's going to be very hard since I’m all fat and chubby after I stopped play for 4 months with my neighborhood friends. I feel like playing for the team but as a manager, I have the responsibility of picking only the best and if I let myself play, it means that I have to prove myself and work harder than I ever have on the field, to be able to compete with the other players who are very good and have a lot of tournament experience. I tried playing with them today and during the warm-up, we had to jog 4 laps around the field. I did the 4 laps and I was already panting. My stamina is very bad. During the game I played ok but didn’t get the ball as much as I expected. Takes time I guess (for the team to bond). I’ve set up a friendly match next week; I guess that I would just be on the bench and maybe come on for the last 20 minutes or so. How I wish that I had natural talent and good stamina….

Monday, September 19, 2005

To Be A Leader, Not A Follower

Don’t travel down a road that has been taken by many; take the road less traveled. I can follow, but I can lead. When someone asks me to do something is a specific way, I would find another way to do it but get the same result. I don’t like listening to others although I know that they’re right sometimes. It’s a bad habit of mine but I’m glad that I have that habit, because it makes me unique and unpredictable. Why should walk in the shadows of other people when I could create my own legacy? I hate being told to do things; I like to be left alone to do it without distractions of other people. I work better that way. I believe that a man should create not only his own destiny, but also his own legacy, so that he would be remembered long after he has left this earth.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Pondering on a Risky Decision

Have you ever asked God for something special, he gives you something more than expected, but with a ‘twist’? Well, I just got that and the ‘twist’ it too risky to unwind. I appreciate the fact that he always grants my wishes, although I’ve never always been a good son to Him, but I can’t get over the ‘twist’ because I really want what He granted to me. Its something that I’ve wanted for such a long time but it’s the kind of thing where ‘you have to take a major risk and hope that it doesn’t backfire’. The repercussions are something I wouldn’t be able to bare with for the rest of my life if it backfires. My mind ponders on whether I should do it or not, every beat of my heart says that I desperately need it. If I do it, I’m only thinking of my own needs; if I don’t, I would be left to wonder for the rest of my life about what could have been or what should have been.

Friday, September 16, 2005

A Poem I Composed To Say I'm Sorry To A Dear Friend

Forgive me,
You've probably heard it before from me,
Yet you've never got tired of hearing it from me,
Instead, you've always brought sunshine to me,

A smile, when others brought me none,
A laugh, when others gave me sadness,
A hand, when others pushed me down,
A shoulder, when others made me cry.

Will I always be there for you?
When you need someone, will I be that one you need?
Will I do all my best to protect you when the world closes down on you?
When tears fall down from your eyes, will I be the one to wipe it away?
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?
Will I be there to make you strong and to lean on?
When you feel like the world is turning cold, will I be the one that's there to hold you?
Will I be the one that's always by your side?
I promise I will,
Always and forever…    

Author: Me, of course. My original creation. I wrote it to say sorry to a close friend… Someone I admire and care a lot about…  

Are You Being Noticed?

Do you sometimes feel like your existence is being ignored? I do. Not by God. By humans, the people around me. I don’t know how they judge me. I can’t blame them if they judge me wrongly. They don’t know me. I wish they did, so that they can see what I’m all about. What they find might surprise them. My advice to you is, take a minute to realize at people all around you, take the time to greet them and to get to know them. You might not know them but their actions will cause a good or bad reaction to your life. So, be kind, be friendly and the world will notice you. Be aware of your surroundings. Give credit where credit is due. Notice and be noticed.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Emptiness... I feel like i'm looking for something

Lately, I’ve been feeling really empty. Like something is missing from my life. I try to suppress those feelings by keeping myself occupied with work and stuff, but it barely helps. Sometimes, when I look at people who are happily living their lives, I envy them. It’s not that I’m unhappy with my life now but there’s a void deep inside my heart and I can’t fix it. Maybe it’s loneliness, maybe it’s frustration, maybe it’s the feeling of being lost and unappreciated… I can’t tell, maybe it’s all of those feelings. I guess that I’ve just given up on finding someone to fill that void. I’ve been let down so many times that I just can’t stand being in that situation again. Maybe I don’t deserve the privilege of having ‘someone’ but I hope I do someday, to cure my aching heart…

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

My Favourite Quote

" Love is always patient and kind, It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. Its is never rude of selfish. It does not take offense and is not resented. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sin, but delights in the truth."

From A Walk To Remember (Starring Mandy Moore)

Sunday, September 04, 2005

I Think I'm On Overload!!!

I really miss my childhood because of one silly reason; it was a time when I had no important responsibilities. There was no pressure, no headaches. Live was as simple as getting up in the morning and going to school and nothing after that. Nowadays, I feel like I’m overloading. I have a habit of taking on responsibilities for other people. I would feel really awkward if I said no most of the time. I might seem clam and cool on the outside but I’m practically dying and screaming on the inside. So, what are my current responsibilities or duties? First, I’m in college doing an IT program. That takes up a lot of my time and I have to work around my college schedule if I want to do other things. Secondly, I work part time for an education consultancy. I have to work 3 days a week and 4 to 6 hours a day. Thirdly, I work for my church as their ‘webmaster’. This is not so much of a headache because the headache was the construction and design of the website, now all I need to do is to keep updating and maintaining it. Fourthly, I’m the Assistant Youth Leader for the Christian Community of my housing area. My job is to make decisions on community activities, do a bit of public relations and organize events. Fifthly, I’ve just started another part time job, doing IT solutions for an IT company in KL. It’s my lecturer’s company. My job here is to solve IT related problems for client. They give me a problem and I have to find a solution for them within a fixed time period. Lastly, my responsibilities at home and to my family. Thank God I’m not married yet, I wouldn’t be able to cope. Although I don’t do much at home but occasionally I have to do some cleaning and housekeeping. All these things have to be kept in a balance, or I’ll be ending up in a mental hospital. Now you can see why I rarely go out to hangout with friends and why I prefer not to have a relationship/girlfriend at this stage of my life (although I guess I need one). Come to think of it, I don’t really regret taking on all these responsibilities because it has thought me a lot. I’m lucky to be able to withstand the pressure but I guess I work better when I’m under a lot of pressure… Anyone interested in being me? I don’t think so…

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Words of Wisdom...

Female expressions

When a GIRL is quiet, Millions of things are running in her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing, She is thinking deeply.
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions, She is wondering how long you will be around.
When a GIRL answers "I’m fine" after a few seconds, She is not at all fine.
When a GIRL stares at you, She is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL lays on your chest, She is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday, She wants to be pampered.
When a GIRL says I love you, She means it.
When a GIRL says "I miss you", No one in this world can miss you more than that.

Love Poem

If the day comes when I die,
And go up in the sky,
As I’m there so far,
I’ll write your name on every star,
So you look up and see,
How much you really mean to me.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

My New Job... Kinda Interesting!

I got a job today. My ex-lecturer’s IT company. He offered me a project-based job, to develop IT solutions for clients. It doesn’t come with a fixed pay but it’s part time and I get to work from home, without traveling to places. My first project is to develop a blue-tooth based data transmission system. It’s quite hard to develop because the technology is still new and there aren’t many suppliers and vendors. On the bright side, the pay is a share in the profits and me and my team get to handle the implementation (so I have to do the demos for clients and the installation of the system at the proposed premises). It’s a challenge that I hope to overcome and I wish that I could make it big to make a name for myself. Well this is already a sign, that I’ve chosen that right path by choosing a career in IT and that people want me to work for them even though I still haven’t graduated yet. It’s nice to be wanted for something this important. I hope that I can live up to my new boss’s expectations.  

Don't You Think Holidayz Are Frustrating?

I hate college holidays. I still go to work. It doesn’t make much difference, except that I have a lot of free time that I don’t know what to do with. I don’t go out that much so I’m pretty much stuck at home doing nothing. I guess that I’m the type that just can’t sit down and do nothing. I like to interact and keep my mind busy. Today, I’m nearing the end of my holidays and I can’t wait to get back to college. I’m totally fed-up of listening to my parents yelling at me in the house, telling me to do stuff and telling me what I shouldn’t do. I have a very short temper at times and I get really frustrated at home. I’m a person who likes to be left alone to do my own things without other people pressuring me. Sometimes, I get so tired of pleasing everyone but myself.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

My Vision of My Future

Well I think that I’ll be doing fine in the future. I’m just an Average Joe, so I don’t dream about becoming famous or living luxuriously in 7th heaven. I dream of having a good job, marrying a wonderful wife, having a few kids and owning my own house. I want a simple and peaceful life. If I could, I would buy a house that is away from the chaos of a big metropolis like Kuala Lumpur if I could. As for the challenges of marriage, I would like to be a gentle lover, but a hard-working provider. I would never let my wife work to get the things she wants coz I believe in giving the best for my own family. I would like to come home everyday from work, waiting to hold my wife in my arms and spend quality time with her. I’ll enjoy growing old with her. That’s why I’m very fussy about relationships; I want to make sure that I make the right choice so that we would be happy with each other. As for fatherhood, well I don’t really know what type of father I would like to be but I would rather be a close friend to my children so that they can come to me to talk about their problems and needs, instead of fearing me because I’m their father, which will cause communication breakdowns between a father-child relationship. I guess that I’ll be a lenient type of father coz I don’t want to have the relationship that I have now with my dad, with my children in the future. My dad and me rarely communicate because we might end up arguing about something. I don’t want to repeat that cycle with my kids. I don’t blame my dad for the state of our relationship because that’s the way he was brought up and he decided to follow his father’s way of bringing up a child. Me on the other hand, I want to break that cycle and be the best person I can to my wife and kids…

Monday, August 29, 2005

The Person That Means The Most To Me

Have you ever met a person that’s a complete stranger at first and never realize that the person will change your life forever? Well, I have. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. I guess that you’ve probably heard that line about a thousand times. This is different, what I am to today, I owe it to her. When I looked into her eyes, I saw that ‘forever’ was in her eyes, she would never let me down. When I met her, I thought that she was just another girl. I was dead wrong. She took me into her heart and opened mine. To me it was lust or even a lover’s love. She was like the sister I never had. She lifted me up when I was at my lowest, she watched over me when I was unwell, she protected me when I was weakened, she was there to celebrate my triumphs and comfort my failures. Everyone thought that the kind of love that we had for each other was forbidden and not real, but deep inside, we didn’t care about them. We knew that our relationship was one of respect, understanding and genuine care for each other, although many were against it. Society judges’ people from the outside, why are they so shallow? Why has humanity become so conscious about what they themselves perceive as morally correct and incorrect? Why should they judge us when most of them are hypocrites? I really hate it when someone says that we can’t do something because it is not in our culture to do so. Did God ever say that he wanted us to live strictly to what we think is right and wrong conduct? Anyway, the tides turned on us and the pressure was mounting on me to let her go… easier said than done. Letting her go was like cutting away my right hand. I couldn’t. It was so hard. I tossed and turned every night, thinking about the decision that I was about to take. Finally, I decided that if I loved her, I would have to let her go. A decision that would haunt for the rest of my life. I didn’t realize that I’ll hurt her by making that decision, but I’d rather look like someone like let her down than to sacrifice her happiness and her future. Now, it has been almost a year since the day I made that decision and I stuck to it. I don’t know if she hates me now for being such a jerk, but I never told the reason for why I did what I had to do because too much and too many people’s happiness was at stake. I had to suppress all my feelings inside me so that she could forget me. My mind was strong enough to do that but my heart certainly wasn’t. Today, I don’t know how she is and what she thinks about me. Its not that I don’t care but I’m helpless to do anything. All I can do is pray hard everyday that God protects her and keeps her happy. Deep inside, I still hope that she forgives me and that our paths will cross one fine day in the distant future. You could say that our relationship ‘lasted forever, but ended so soon…’. I wish that I could tell her that “I try but I can’t get myself to think about anything but you. I want to be with you. To be the one that’s in your arms to hold you tight. There’s nothing else I want more than to feel this way…” but I will never spoil her happiness to gain my own. That’s how much she means to me…

My Schooling Life... The Best!

My schooling life was the best thing that ever happened to me. I didn’t realize it back then but I really miss school now that I’m in college. I used to dread getting up at 6.15am every morning (during my schooling days) just to go to school. I really thought that school was just a waste of time and I was a real ‘pain in the neck’ at school. The teachers hated me and my group of friends because we always caused havoc everywhere we went. We used to escape from school during our break time and go to a food stall to have some ‘real’ food. We would only come back one hour or two hours later (around the 3rd or 4th period of class after break time). We kept failing or barely passing exams all the time, which didn’t make us ashamed at all. We would commit so many offences in school but we never got caught. As I ponder upon those memories today, I don’t regret doing what I did, I miss doing those things. That’s because back then, I was happier than I’ll ever be today. The past made me who I am and I’m not ashamed of it, but I’m proud of it. I’ll never have the same friends that I had back then and it’s true what they say: “You’ll never know the value of someone till they’re gone”. I can still remember the last day of school (about 3 years back). I wished everyone goodbye and told them to keep in touch (most of them didn’t). I waited till everyone was gone before I left and as I walked towards the entrance, I put my hand on the door, turned around and took one last look at my classroom, vague memories of my antics in class flashed through my mind and tears formed I my eyes. I guess that at that precise moment an important part of my life was slowly slipping away to become a thing of the past. I realized that I couldn’t come back here anymore and that my relationships with my classmates and schoolmates will soon change. Before I stepped out of my classroom for the final time, I whispered a silent but unforgettable ‘goodbye’, not to the classroom but to the ‘best days of my life’…

The Meaning of Life and A Higher Power

Life? I’ve always contemplated on the point of living. Have you been in a situation where you wonder why we were sent upon this earth? What’s our destiny? Are we just mere pawns that exist to serve other on this earth? Or do we play an important part in the survival of living creatures? I believe that God has a purpose for each and every one of us. How do I know this? Well, if you just sit and think. Every coincidence and every twist of fate that we’ve had, isn’t actually luck or chance. If you do believe and open your eyes to divine interventions, you will believe in the existence of a ‘higher power’. So, believing and acknowledging this ‘higher power’ is the key. ‘Ask and you shall receive’ is the fruit of this belief and I’ve witness miracles that happen to me that non-believe may not normally notice. Trust in God and acknowledge his presence in your life. He’ll be the only one that will sit by your side through your every triumph and defeat. Close your eyes, see with your heart…

Sunday, August 28, 2005


Hi, i'm Jonathan. I live in Malaysia. I'm 20 and i'm studying Information Technology in college. I'm crazy about soccer and i watch it, play it and dream about it everyday. I'm also a web-designer and a webmaster. You could check out the first site i ever did at . It was for a college assignment and i did it entirely with only Window's 'notepad' (no help from any other softwares). That's why it's not so great. Anyway, i also play a lot of online games (Earth2025, Utopia, Runescape) and offline games. I also do a bit of rock climbing and enjoy going to the movies. I enjoy meeting new ppl online and having a chat with them. I have accounts in and (you can find me by email: