Sunday, September 25, 2005

A Guide To Roses

We all give roses to people we care about, but half of us don’t know what each colour of a rose means. Here’s the guide, it could be very useful when you want to give someone a hint when you present him or her with a rose:

A yellow rose says, “I just want to be friends with you”

A white rose says, “I admire you”

A pink rose says, “I like you”

A red rose says, “I love you”

Choose wisely….

A Football Headache

To play, or not to play? Hmmm…. looks like an easy decision but it has a lot of complications. I’ve been handed the job of Football Team Manager for my college. I’ve always wanted to manage a football team of my own and now I have the chance to see if I really have what it takes. That’s the easy part. The complications come in when I have to decide whether I’m going to manage only or play in the team as well as manage it. If I decide to play and manage, I would have to get my fitness up to par with the other players and that's going to be very hard since I’m all fat and chubby after I stopped play for 4 months with my neighborhood friends. I feel like playing for the team but as a manager, I have the responsibility of picking only the best and if I let myself play, it means that I have to prove myself and work harder than I ever have on the field, to be able to compete with the other players who are very good and have a lot of tournament experience. I tried playing with them today and during the warm-up, we had to jog 4 laps around the field. I did the 4 laps and I was already panting. My stamina is very bad. During the game I played ok but didn’t get the ball as much as I expected. Takes time I guess (for the team to bond). I’ve set up a friendly match next week; I guess that I would just be on the bench and maybe come on for the last 20 minutes or so. How I wish that I had natural talent and good stamina….

Monday, September 19, 2005

To Be A Leader, Not A Follower

Don’t travel down a road that has been taken by many; take the road less traveled. I can follow, but I can lead. When someone asks me to do something is a specific way, I would find another way to do it but get the same result. I don’t like listening to others although I know that they’re right sometimes. It’s a bad habit of mine but I’m glad that I have that habit, because it makes me unique and unpredictable. Why should walk in the shadows of other people when I could create my own legacy? I hate being told to do things; I like to be left alone to do it without distractions of other people. I work better that way. I believe that a man should create not only his own destiny, but also his own legacy, so that he would be remembered long after he has left this earth.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Pondering on a Risky Decision

Have you ever asked God for something special, he gives you something more than expected, but with a ‘twist’? Well, I just got that and the ‘twist’ it too risky to unwind. I appreciate the fact that he always grants my wishes, although I’ve never always been a good son to Him, but I can’t get over the ‘twist’ because I really want what He granted to me. Its something that I’ve wanted for such a long time but it’s the kind of thing where ‘you have to take a major risk and hope that it doesn’t backfire’. The repercussions are something I wouldn’t be able to bare with for the rest of my life if it backfires. My mind ponders on whether I should do it or not, every beat of my heart says that I desperately need it. If I do it, I’m only thinking of my own needs; if I don’t, I would be left to wonder for the rest of my life about what could have been or what should have been.

Friday, September 16, 2005

A Poem I Composed To Say I'm Sorry To A Dear Friend

Forgive me,
You've probably heard it before from me,
Yet you've never got tired of hearing it from me,
Instead, you've always brought sunshine to me,

A smile, when others brought me none,
A laugh, when others gave me sadness,
A hand, when others pushed me down,
A shoulder, when others made me cry.

Will I always be there for you?
When you need someone, will I be that one you need?
Will I do all my best to protect you when the world closes down on you?
When tears fall down from your eyes, will I be the one to wipe it away?
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?
Will I be there to make you strong and to lean on?
When you feel like the world is turning cold, will I be the one that's there to hold you?
Will I be the one that's always by your side?
I promise I will,
Always and forever…    

Author: Me, of course. My original creation. I wrote it to say sorry to a close friend… Someone I admire and care a lot about…  

Are You Being Noticed?

Do you sometimes feel like your existence is being ignored? I do. Not by God. By humans, the people around me. I don’t know how they judge me. I can’t blame them if they judge me wrongly. They don’t know me. I wish they did, so that they can see what I’m all about. What they find might surprise them. My advice to you is, take a minute to realize at people all around you, take the time to greet them and to get to know them. You might not know them but their actions will cause a good or bad reaction to your life. So, be kind, be friendly and the world will notice you. Be aware of your surroundings. Give credit where credit is due. Notice and be noticed.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Emptiness... I feel like i'm looking for something

Lately, I’ve been feeling really empty. Like something is missing from my life. I try to suppress those feelings by keeping myself occupied with work and stuff, but it barely helps. Sometimes, when I look at people who are happily living their lives, I envy them. It’s not that I’m unhappy with my life now but there’s a void deep inside my heart and I can’t fix it. Maybe it’s loneliness, maybe it’s frustration, maybe it’s the feeling of being lost and unappreciated… I can’t tell, maybe it’s all of those feelings. I guess that I’ve just given up on finding someone to fill that void. I’ve been let down so many times that I just can’t stand being in that situation again. Maybe I don’t deserve the privilege of having ‘someone’ but I hope I do someday, to cure my aching heart…

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

My Favourite Quote

" Love is always patient and kind, It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. Its is never rude of selfish. It does not take offense and is not resented. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sin, but delights in the truth."

From A Walk To Remember (Starring Mandy Moore)

Sunday, September 04, 2005

I Think I'm On Overload!!!

I really miss my childhood because of one silly reason; it was a time when I had no important responsibilities. There was no pressure, no headaches. Live was as simple as getting up in the morning and going to school and nothing after that. Nowadays, I feel like I’m overloading. I have a habit of taking on responsibilities for other people. I would feel really awkward if I said no most of the time. I might seem clam and cool on the outside but I’m practically dying and screaming on the inside. So, what are my current responsibilities or duties? First, I’m in college doing an IT program. That takes up a lot of my time and I have to work around my college schedule if I want to do other things. Secondly, I work part time for an education consultancy. I have to work 3 days a week and 4 to 6 hours a day. Thirdly, I work for my church as their ‘webmaster’. This is not so much of a headache because the headache was the construction and design of the website, now all I need to do is to keep updating and maintaining it. Fourthly, I’m the Assistant Youth Leader for the Christian Community of my housing area. My job is to make decisions on community activities, do a bit of public relations and organize events. Fifthly, I’ve just started another part time job, doing IT solutions for an IT company in KL. It’s my lecturer’s company. My job here is to solve IT related problems for client. They give me a problem and I have to find a solution for them within a fixed time period. Lastly, my responsibilities at home and to my family. Thank God I’m not married yet, I wouldn’t be able to cope. Although I don’t do much at home but occasionally I have to do some cleaning and housekeeping. All these things have to be kept in a balance, or I’ll be ending up in a mental hospital. Now you can see why I rarely go out to hangout with friends and why I prefer not to have a relationship/girlfriend at this stage of my life (although I guess I need one). Come to think of it, I don’t really regret taking on all these responsibilities because it has thought me a lot. I’m lucky to be able to withstand the pressure but I guess I work better when I’m under a lot of pressure… Anyone interested in being me? I don’t think so…

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Words of Wisdom...

Female expressions

When a GIRL is quiet, Millions of things are running in her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing, She is thinking deeply.
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions, She is wondering how long you will be around.
When a GIRL answers "I’m fine" after a few seconds, She is not at all fine.
When a GIRL stares at you, She is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL lays on your chest, She is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday, She wants to be pampered.
When a GIRL says I love you, She means it.
When a GIRL says "I miss you", No one in this world can miss you more than that.

Love Poem

If the day comes when I die,
And go up in the sky,
As I’m there so far,
I’ll write your name on every star,
So you look up and see,
How much you really mean to me.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

My New Job... Kinda Interesting!

I got a job today. My ex-lecturer’s IT company. He offered me a project-based job, to develop IT solutions for clients. It doesn’t come with a fixed pay but it’s part time and I get to work from home, without traveling to places. My first project is to develop a blue-tooth based data transmission system. It’s quite hard to develop because the technology is still new and there aren’t many suppliers and vendors. On the bright side, the pay is a share in the profits and me and my team get to handle the implementation (so I have to do the demos for clients and the installation of the system at the proposed premises). It’s a challenge that I hope to overcome and I wish that I could make it big to make a name for myself. Well this is already a sign, that I’ve chosen that right path by choosing a career in IT and that people want me to work for them even though I still haven’t graduated yet. It’s nice to be wanted for something this important. I hope that I can live up to my new boss’s expectations.  

Don't You Think Holidayz Are Frustrating?

I hate college holidays. I still go to work. It doesn’t make much difference, except that I have a lot of free time that I don’t know what to do with. I don’t go out that much so I’m pretty much stuck at home doing nothing. I guess that I’m the type that just can’t sit down and do nothing. I like to interact and keep my mind busy. Today, I’m nearing the end of my holidays and I can’t wait to get back to college. I’m totally fed-up of listening to my parents yelling at me in the house, telling me to do stuff and telling me what I shouldn’t do. I have a very short temper at times and I get really frustrated at home. I’m a person who likes to be left alone to do my own things without other people pressuring me. Sometimes, I get so tired of pleasing everyone but myself.