Lily Allen - Alfie..... quite funny.... LOL!

Hey, check out this video clip by Lily Allen. The song is called Alfie. Its really bloody funny. Her acsent is quite heavy but try to understand the lyrics coz its that funny... enjoy.... btw, the funny part is not her voice, its actually the lyrics and the video. Check it out! Comment on it if u can :)

A new Firefox toolbar for blogs called Performancing

This new toolbar by Firefox makes blogging so much easier. No need to login to blogger.com. Just post from your Firefox browser and it does all the transactions for you. Its attached to your browser so no need to open another program (you can open or close it whenever you want). Try it out! Support open-source softwares! Die Microsoft!

P.s. Yes, i'm still using Windows XP LOL!




Click on the pic for a bigger view.

powered by performancing firefox

Brave Young Knight (Poem)

Brave Young Knight

When the world comes down on you,
And you feel like drowning,
Remember your knight is here for you,
Fighting all that causes you mourning.

He will banish the darkness,
Withstand all bitterness,
Wipe away your wariness,
Sweep you away to happiness.

Thus, do not forsake your brave young knight,
Begs merely a chance to be by your side,
To his beloved, he attends to day and night,
Hoping and never wanting to be brushing aside.

Author: Jonathan A. Nathan



Mi Amor was the inspiration for this poem and i hope she likes it. It's about sharing pain and sadness with the one you love, and i guess it also applies to happiness.

Enjoy!


P.s. I've created a new blog for my collection of self-written poems at http://poemsbyjonathannathan.blogspot.com/
So if u wanna read my previous poems, you can go there.

Mi Amor... te quiero...

You know, all this time i thought I've got love and life all figured out and that nothing new can change me. Well, i was wrong. . Mi Amor taught me that love is vastly unexplored and that love from her makes me want to be a better person so that I'm worth enough to stand beside her. Everyday she does the sweetest things to make me smile and thank God that he sent his loveliest angel to be with me. Now, every morning i wake up pinching myself, is this an amazing dream or is this sweet reality. She's very sweet, kind, thoughtful, smart, beautiful, caring, full of joy and i can't stay away from her even for 5 seconds. It melts me when I'm sitting in class listening to a boring lecture and suddenly i get this sms from her saying that she misses me, i absolutely love it. When i'm awake i think about her, when I'm asleep i dream about her... never felt like this before. I like the way we say lovely things to each other in Spanish. I like the way we quietly listen to our favourite song (RBD - Tu Amor) together. Mi Amor, i'm going crazy...

Estarás siempre en mi corazón
(You will be always in my heart)

Te echo de menos
(i miss you)

I'm back... bloging again!

I’m finally bloging again after a long absence. Well, life has been like a rollercoaster lately. My CCNA tests have been battering me every week and I can hardly stand. But the rewards of the CCNA cert can be well savoured after I finish… well, that’s a long way off. I really don’t wanna get ahead of myself.

Other than that, I’ve been depress about something but I guess I shouldn’t write it here coz its kinda personal. Haiyah, if u really wanna know just drop by my msn n I’ll tell u la… so curious la u ppl LOL! But I’ve learnt that we can’t always get what we want, and no matter how much we try to forget it, its still something very special that will stick with you till the day you die… I know, it sounds confusing… well, D-day is approaching and I’ve set it at 24^th of this month… if I still can’t get what I want… then I’ll try to let go…

On the bright side, I might be heading down to Sarawak for my sem break with a few friends. Its gonna be fun so im really looking forward to finish this bloody sem. Rest and relaxation… that’s what I need.

Peace! :P

Farewell Naresh

After 7 farewell parties, 3 people passing away, dozens of road accidents happening in front of him, and getting an unlimited amount of summons for his ‘perfect’ driving skills, all in a short period of a few months, he finally managed to leave this country to further his studies in NZ. It’s a great move for him because it will provide him with a better and more successful future.

I guess I’ll miss him because we were the best of friends; we were never even apart for more than a week. We always did stupid but fun things together no matter what the consequences. I remember how he used to be the best student in class, counting from the back, and I would be behind him (so basically we were the last in class). I used to sneak out of my house to go for mamak with this guy and some friends for nuts, but we never got caught. We used to skip school, walking out the front gate, just because we got bored of the plain canteen food, and we’d end up at a mamak shop having roti canai. After the roti canai session, we would be too lazy to go back to school, so we would just walk to the cyber café instead.

Thinking about all these old memories and about him, I would say that I would never find another friend like him in this world and I really appreciate this friendship. I hope that we can reunite in the future when we finish our studies, and maybe be business partners, that would be really nice. Friends forever, buddy! And good luck in whatever you do in NZ.

My latest poem, An Intruder Called Love

An Intruder Called Love

On an unwary day,
It appeared to me,
Like a thief on a dark day,
It stole the whole of me.

Bewildered by a new feeling,
Overwhelmed with new hope,
Started my journey of fulfilling,
This blessed gift some call ‘love’.

Burning inside me I can feel,
Love’s true passion scorching my soul,
Ready to do whatever I will,
To have my love forever to hold.

Sometimes I wonder what good I have done,
To receive a love so purely divine,
Though good looks and gold I have none,
Still hoping someday she’ll be mine.

Deeper and deeper I fall each day,
Departing from you makes me blue,
Claim your heart one day I may,
That will be my dream come true.

I’ll end this by saying my love is true,
Till my last breath I breathe for you,
Doubt not my feelings for it’s a clue,
That I’ll never forsake my love for you.



Spent about 4 hours pouring out my feelings to write this and I’m still not happy with the final result. I’m still working on improving it a bit, because I know it’s not that great yet. If anyone has some ideas on how I could change the words or anything to improve it, let me know, maybe I’ll let you be a co-author, if your idea is accepted that is… hehehehe!

Thanks for reading it

P.S. I swear I wrote it myself, no plagiarism… LOL!

I feel like shite...

Hurmmm... sumtimes life is so unfair. The best thing that could ever happen to me was just dangling in front of me, but when I reached out to touch it i realised that its untouchable, an illusion. I guess its normal to feel burnt, crushed n broken down when these kinda things happen but I’m glad that illusion didn't fade away, i can still see it, but its like 'see no touch, touch no see'.  How I wish the world were different. I know I’m not worthy of the illusion, and I respect that fact now. I just don't want that illusion to leave me for good coz i really love its presence in my life; it made me a better man. Illusion, i will always love u no matter wat...

We don't have all the answers...

Sometimes we think that we have the answers to everything. We’re confident that we are the best at what we do and we don’t need anyone to tell us that we’re wrong. Well, that’s the dumbest thing humans do. Humans were designed to be learning creatures, because knowledge and wisdom knows no boundaries. No one can be declared the smartest person in the world because smartness is not calculated with a mathematical formula, but by what we see and hear in our everyday lives. Sometimes, it’s nice to sit and listen, and not say a word. It will teach you and fascinate you.

Don’t shut out the world, be open to the numerous possibilities out there and do not dispose of any thought, thinking that it is useless; it could be a spark to greater heights.


The lesson:

"The more you think you know about something, the more you know that you don’t know everything"

Lesson to learn...

Expectancy is the key to disappointment. I mean, the more you expect something, the more likely it is for you to be left empty handed and bitter. People always expect things to be done for them but people who can’t say ‘no’ to them, your boss, your family, your loved one. That cycle should be broken and people should be allowed to say ‘no’, regardless of the reason, because what is the point of living if we don’t have choices in our lives. We should dictate how we live, not other people. We should be who we actually are, and not someone who other people like because we always please them. We’re not made to be pretenders. Boundaries should be clearly defined to keep us from falling into the slavery of always pleasing others before ourselves. Learning how to say ‘yes’ is always easy, learning how to say ‘no’ will be difficult because others won’t let us say it. So, that’s what I’m learning now.

I've found my way...

Falling in love is a lot easier than falling out of it. The memories last forever. Even if you try to move on, there’s always something that holds you back. You can never forget someone who has made a change in your life. No matter who you will be with in the future, the person that you let go made you the person that you are in the future. I have done my best to let go, I finally did, but somehow she still lingers in my heart. It hurts to let go, I can’t deny that, but it hurts even more to hope that someday we will be together. Which one is worse? I can’t choose. It hurts all the same. It has drained me mentally, emotionally and physically. I couldn’t hold on to this insanity any longer, I’m losing my grip, but now, I’ve bounced back, I’ve reclaimed my soul and my identity. I feel that the burden has been lifted. Now I can focus on myself for once. So, basically I’m back to my old self.  

A tribute to my best friends...

What is friendship to you? Well, to me, friendship is:

Never having to say I am sorry because I know they've already forgiven me;
Never having to say I need you because I know they're willing to sacrifice the world for me;
Never having to say I appreciate you because I know they'll stick around for me;
Never having to say I don't want you to go because I know they'll always be bugging me;
Above all, never having to say you're my best friend because I know that the feeling is mutual.

Somehow when best friends depart, there is the feeling of emptiness that can never filled, not even by the greatest love. Friendship dwells on a level higher than love itself. It demands unspoken acts of patients, respect, admiration, appreciation, modesty, compassion, and mutual understanding. Some people say friendship does not last forever and that good things always come to a better end. I say friendship looks not with the eyes, but with the heart. That’s where friendship comes from and it stays there till you take it with you to your grave.

I feel sad that my best friends (most of them) have left and won’t be coming back for a long time. I just saw them not too long ago and I already miss them so dearly. I know that they’re always with me in heart and soul but it’s depressing to think that they can’t be around us physically. I never told them how much their friendship means to me (they’ll probably just laugh when I say this… hehehe!) but every time I think of the good times we had together, I smile to myself hoping that we’ll be together again one fine day, and that hope is what I live for.

Sattiya, Me & Naresh... We've been through storms together...

The Matcha Gang (Suresh, Cassie, Lingam, Sattiya, Edmond, Me & Naresh)!

My dear 'sis' Kanchan, my guardian angel...

Suraya, my dreamgurl, I'd go insane without you by my side...

Thanks guys and gals for every thing we did together and I’ll come back to haunt you even if I die before you… hehehe! Take care and God bless.

Good friends start their sentences with "I", best friends start heir sentences with "We".

Romantic Ideas & Gifts

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5. Love Greeting Cards
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SuperLaugh.com


6. Flowers
Over 1000 flower arrangements online :
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7. Books
For "fairy tale" relationships :
Men Made Easy
300 Creative Dates
Perfect Love Letters
The Woman Men Adore
Bring Back A Lost Love
How To Get Your Ex Back
Single Man's Guide To Great Women


8. Engraved Gifts
Lockets, keepsake boxes, frames, candle holders, etc. :
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Want More?
For additional romantic ideas, check out AskMen.com.

Whats going on these days... Just an update

I actually enjoyed myself this semester at college. Bonding with my new friends in college was really fun, especially for my Project Management subject. I worked with the best team members in the class and the best Project Manager, me… LOL! But seriously, my team members were very dedicated and hardworking. The actually accepted the orders and workload that I gave each of them without question and executed them perfectly. Thanks to Yoges, Christina, Jason and Keanne. I hope to be your Project Manager in future assignments as well LOL! But I still did work ok… a lot of work…

I’ve managed to conquer whatever depression I had and I’ve decided to make myself stronger and more confident. Thanks to the people around me (mainly my close friends like Suraya, Cassie, Ashley, Niff and Yew Fei), my life now is a lot better. Friends always!

What else… my exam is coming soon. 31^st October to be precise. Starting on 1^st November, I’ll be on a 2 month holiday… errrrr…. I want to work but… it’s hard to find a good job these days. I guess I’ll just have to keep looking. I can’t imagine sitting at home for 2 months… I’ll go crazy within the 1^st week.

Hmmm… suddently I have this craving to learn Spanish. I also want to learn Flash programming. That will give me something to do for the holidays. Some online tutorials would help I guess.

My Birthdate Meaning...

16 April 1985

Your date of conception was on or about 24 July 1984 which was a Tuesday.

You were born on a Tuesday
under the astrological sign Aries.
Your Life path number is 7.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2446171.5.
The golden number for 1985 is 10.
The epact number for 1985 is 8.
The year 1985 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/20/1985 and ending 2/8/1986.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Ox.
Your Native American Zodiac sign is Hawk; your plant is Dandelion.
You were born in the Egyptian month of Paony, the second month of the season of Shomu (Harvest).


As of 9/22/2006 5:30:08 AM EDT
You are 21 years old.
You are 257 months old.
You are 1,118 weeks old.
You are 7,829 days old.
You are 187,901 hours old.
You are 11,274,090 minutes old.
You are 676,445,408 seconds old.
Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 3.06418786692759 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

Your birthstone is Diamond

The Mystical properties of Diamond

Diamonds are said to increase personal clarity to help one see things clearly as well as be straight-forward and honest. Supposedly, the higher quality the diamond, the better it is supports these qualities.

Your birth tree is
Maple, Independence of Mind

No ordinary person, full imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-respect, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, many complexes, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

My latest literature creation... my new poem

If She Were Mine

Kiss her when I’m loving her,
Heed her when I’m broken down,
Feel her when I’m lonely,
Hold her when I’m fearful.

Touch her when I’m needing her,
Clutch her when I’m fallen,
Hug her when I’m chilly,
Tickle her when I’m joyful.

Tell her when I’m proud of her,
Seek her when I’m unseen,
Trust her when I’m plunging swiftly,
Dream her when I’m blissful.



Author: Jonathan Nathan



I’d rather call it a sonnet rather than a poem, because I used synecdoche. This effort is my best by far. I hope that it draws criticism as well as inspiration. It’s not perfect, but it’s fruitful. Feel free to suggest changes or new verses (your name will be accredited to it also), but send it to my email so that its easier for my to reply.

I'd Do This For My Gurl...

• KISS HER IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS.
• TRUST HER 0VER EVERY0NE ELSE.
• TELL HER SHE L00KS BEAUTIFUL EVERY SINGLE DAY.
• LOOK INTO HER EYES WHEN I TALK TO HER.
• TELL HER STUPID J0KES T0 MAKE HER LAUGH.
• LET HER MESS WITH MY HAIR.MESS WITH HER HAIR.
• TAKE LONG WALKS ALONE WITH HER.
• INCLUDE HER IN ALL THINGS I DO.
• TELL HER THAT I VALUE HER OPINIONS WHEN I MAKE HARD DECISIONS.
• WHEN SHE CRYS DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE HER SMILE.
• FORGIVE HER FOR HER MISTAKES.
• LOOK AT HER LIKE SHE'S THE ONLY GIRL I SEE.
• TICKLE HER EVEN WHEN SHE SAYS STOP.
• HOLD HER HAND EVEN WHEN WE'RE AROUND HER FRIENDS.
• WHEN SHE STARTS SWEARING AT ME, I’LL TELL HER I LOVE HER.
• LET HER FALL ASLEEP IN MY ARMS.
• WATCH HER SLEEP AND BE AMAZED BY HER BEAUTY.
• GET HER MAD, THEN KISS HER.
• TEASE HER & LET HER TEASE ME BACK.
• ALWAYS GIVE IN TO HER WHEN WE PLAY GAMES.
• WATCH ‘CHICK FLICKS’ WITH HER JUST BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO.
• STAY UP WITH HER ALL NIGHT WHEN SHE’S SICK.
• WATCH HER FAV0RITE M0VIE WITH HER OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
• KISS HER F0REHEAD AND TELL HER I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT HER.
• GIVE HER THE WORLD AND MUCH MORE.WRITE HER LOVE LETTERS.
• LET HER WEAR MY CLOTHES.
• WHEN SHES SAD, COMFORT HER AND TELL HER THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.
• LET HER KN0W SHE'S VERY IMP0RTANT TO ME.
• LET HER TAKE ALL THE PH0T0S OF ME SHE WANTS.
• KISS HER IN THE RAIN.
• KISS HER UNDER THE STARS.
• CALL HER EVERY NIGHT JUST TO SAY ‘GOOD NIGHT AND SWEET DREAMS’.
• CARRY HER BURDEN WHEN SHE FEELS LIKE THE WORLD IS COMING DOWN ON HER.
• TAKE HER DARKEST NIGHT AND MAKE IT BRIGHT FOR HER.
• BE HER KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR.

Congrads to Hannah Tan! Malaysia’s Sexiest Woman 2006!

I’ve been a fan of hers for a very long time now. To finally see her on the cover of FHM Magazine for being Malaysia’s Sexiest Woman 2006 (as voted online by Malaysians), it’s amazing.

She’s beautiful I have to admit (Miss Malaysia Petite 2002/2003 – Winner, Miss Global Petite International World Finals 2002/2003 – 2nd Runner Up) but the reason she’s so amazing to me is because she’s really brainy and has a great personality. She studied Information Systems at KDU and she maintained a 4.0 GPA. She must be the world’s most beautiful geek-chick. She’s an actress, beauty queen, model, singer and TV hostess. If had a chance to meet someone I admire, I would defiantly choose Hannah. She’s just so gorgeous.

Personal Info:
Nationality: Malaysian
Race: Chinese-Kelabit
Place of Birth: Penang
Date of Birth: 25th October
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Hair Length: Long, past-shoulder
Hair Texture: Thick, straight
Eye Color: Brown
Skin Color: Light tan
Skin Type: Combination
Dress Size: S
Swimsuit Size: S
Shoe Size: 5-6 (depending on type of shoe)


Measurements:
Height: 5 feet 4 inches
Weight: 47 kilograms
Bust: 34 inches
Waist: 24 inches
Hips: 34 inches
Collar: 13 inches
Shoulder: 16 inches
Neck to Waist: 16 inches
Inseam: 24.5 inches
Out seam: 35 inches


Academic Info:
Bsc. (Hons.) in Computing and Information Systems
University of Lincolnshire and Humberside UK/KDU College Penang

Higher Diploma in Computer Studies
KDU College Penang (Graduation Class Distinction, GPA 4.0)

International Advanced Diploma in Computer Studies
NCC (Correspondence self-study with the National Computing Centre in UK)
Graduation Class Distinction

International Diploma in Computer Studies
NCC (Correspondence self-study with the National Computing Centre in UK)
Graduation Class Distinction

KDU Overall Top Student Valedictorian Award
July 2001

KDU Merit Scholarship Award
August 2000
April 2000
January 2000
August 1999
April 1999


Pageant Achievements:
Miss Global Petite International World Finals 2002/2003 (Montreal, CANADA)
2nd Runner-up
1 Subsidiary Title (Miss Congeniality)

Miss Malaysia Petite 2002/2003
Winner
1 Subsidiary Title

Miss Perak Petite 2002/2003
Winner
1 Subsidiary Title

Miss Penang Pesta Millennium 2001/2002
Winner
4 Subsidiary Titles

For more info, check out: http://www.hannahsarahtan.com

What the heck I did during my holidays… ermmm…

Basically nothing… for 3 weeks! Maybe the highlight of the holiday period was when I finished Diablo II. I think I would have broken the whole record by finishing the game at level 26, while everyone I know finished it only after level 40 or 50. So the feeling of accomplishing that was really amazing. It’s like I actually achieved something. “I came, I saw, I conquered!”

Besides that my recent trip to Port Dickson with my cousins was fun, although I came back with a bruised foot (after playing football on the beach). We experimented with my cousins’ dogs by testing if dogs are natural swimmers. Lol! I know, it’s stupid. We took the dogs out to sea and dumped them in the water; they enjoyed playing fetch with a plastic ball in the middle of the sea.

That’s about it for my holiday highlights… I basically did nothing (I told you!). I actually miss going to college… I want studies (No, I’m not high!) and I miss looking at the chicks in college. I’m going back to college this Monday. So, I hope that this semester is going to be a good one.

'Normal guys' need a chance to prove themselves, girls...

Why don’t normal guys get a chance? I hate the way some girls expect their so called ‘dream guys’ to have the 3C’s: Cash, Credit Card & Car. I don’t understand how that it can be an expectation somehow, that a guy that has all that will be a good boyfriend/husband automatically. Those guys prefer to use their cash and toys do the talking and loving, it that what girls these days really want? Where do all the guys that don’t have all those things fit in? They just don’t get a chance because they don’t fit girls’ fantasies.

Guys that don’t have the ‘luxuries of life’ (so to speak) may not be the complete guys but they can certainly provide a girl with the ‘luxuries of love’. Guys that have all the best luxuries do get a lot of girls, but they also lose the meaning of love, it becomes a sport rather than a commitment. I’m proud to say that I’m a normal guy that may not have the 3C’s or even good looks but I’m confident that I do have a big heart with a lot of love to give. I’d rather work my way to success to provide a girl with all the best rather than to splash out my parents’ money. I’m confident that I’ll be at the top one day and I’d want to have a girl that appreciates the fact that I’ve worked my way to the top rather than a girl that just appreciates what I have.

Shakespeare’s words in the classic, A Midsummer Night's Dream, still linger in my mind:
“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind”. I guess that this doesn’t really happen these days. So girls, please give guys like us a chance in the future because what we lack materialistically, we have in heart and soul. That’s what eternal love means.

Life Inspiring Movies

These are the movies that have left a mark on my life in one way or another. They teach us many important values and lessons in life. Watch them and you’ll know what I mean.

1. A Walk To Remember


2. Scent of A Woman


3. Jerry Maguire


4. Girl Next Door


5. The Matrix


6. The Freshman


7. The Lord of the Rings


8. I Am Sam


9. Forrest Gump


10. Gladiator


11. Patch Adams


12. Any Given Sunday


13. Top Gun


14. Spiderman

A Walk To Remember...

Well, some people say that inspiration is the key to success. I watched “A Walk To Remember” again today and I realise that life is too short for us to waste on doing things that are unmeaning. Reflecting on what I’ve done so far makes me want to do more to better myself and I want to strive to find my place in the world again. It tells me to appreciate the people that are important to me and it teaches me how to love without expecting anything back in return. I don’t know why but that movie inspires me each time I watch it. It makes me feel good about myself and about the people around me. I’ve done many bad things in my life, but with God’s help, I can turn it around and never look back.

I can say how successful I’ll be in turning my life around but I feel motivated to make a difference no matter what it takes. God has given me a sign, I cannot ignore it, it’s a miracle to me. Watch the movie, you’ll feel the same way…

Memorable Quotes

“What is a friend? It's a single soul dwelling in two bodies." – Aristotle (used in A Walk To Remember)


“Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous, love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offense, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.” - Proverbs 23:7, The Bible (used in A Walk To Remember)


“There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three thingsthat last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”
– (used in A Walk To Remember)


Jerry Maguire: I won't let you get rid of me.
Jerry Maguire: Im not letting you get rid of me. how about that? tonight our company, our little buisness had a very big night, but it wasnt complete. it wasnt even close to being in the same vacinity as complete, because i couldnt share it with you. i couldnt laugh about it with you. im miss... i miss my wife.
Jerry Maguire: I love you. You... complete me.
Dorothy: Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at "hello."
- (used in Jerry Maguire)


"Roses are red,
Some diamonds are blue,
Chivalry is dead,
But you're still kinda cute."

"They call me Thomas,
Last name Crown,
Recognize game,
I'm a lay mine's down."
- Nelly Furtado - Promiscuous Girl

Damn... 3-week holiday!

I’ve just completed my first semester at INTI Nilai today. It was a fun semester but also sickening because of the heavy load from coursework and tests. Well, I’ve got a 3-week break now and I really don’t know what to do with it. I can’t work because it’s too short and I can’t really go anywhere because my pockets are dry. Can’t imagine being at home for that duration… I should find something to do before I go insane.

Just sat for my exam today…. I think a few A’s are due and overall, my results have been great so far (not the final marks). At least that will give me some peace of mind during my holidays. For once, I’m actually looking forward to get my results.

Yet another update

Well I decided not to go for SEGi’s Prom Nite, coz I heard that even SEGi’s own students are boycotting the event coz they think that SEGI is being rather ‘cheap’ by having the event at the SEGi building itself. I can’t imagine 150 people fitting into a cramped building like that. Looks like that they’ll never loose that stinginess that they’ve always had, even since when I was there.

Hmmm… my PTPTN loan just got accepted and I guess I’ll be covered until I finish my studies. They’ll give me an extra of RM500 per month just for my expenses, so that means that I don’t have to find a job during the holidays. But maybe I will because I can’t imagine sitting in the house and not doing anything throughout the whole holidays.

My friends are down from overseas, mostly from Russia coz they’re studying medic over there. Somehow, it seems like I’m back in high school when I’m with them. Everything we do has to involve doing something stupid. Its fun and I really miss it. Its like we had never grown up since high school. Brings back old memories, fond ones.

An update of whats going on

Well, college has been better than expected. Although, I must complain that exams and projects have been a pain in the ass. Met some new friends and they seem nice. I guess my life is returning to normal, for the moment. I’m glad it is because settling in was difficult. Looks like I’ve been invited for SEGI’s Prom Nite by some of my juniors in my old college. I wonder who will I take, cause I won’t go with guys (I know, ego problem… lol!) It’s on the 29th of this month, so I still have some time. I’ve been thinking about my future lately, I wonder what I would be like. Well, meeting Hannah Tan would be a dream come true. Hahaha! Lets just see if that happens in the future. In the mean time, the present is still in front of me and I’ve got to fight through it.

Watched The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift. It was a really good movie and the chicks were very fine… I would recommend the movie to anyone but the slack part of the movie is the lead actor… a cowboy in Tokyo sounds like a 70’s war movie. His slang was so cowboy-ish and didn’t suit the movie at all. They should have gotten the guy who played the lead actor in the last movie. He was good. I really admire the drifting skills of the Japanese drivers because it was mind-boggling. Takes a genius to do what those guys did in the movie. Thumbs up to them.

Changing...

I feel like somehow I’m changing, changing into this person who has given up on everything I hold dear. Like I’ve given up on myself. There’s still that one thing that I wish I had, but also afraid to lose. I’m afraid that I’ll never get it back. Its too precious, too important. Giving that up hasn’t been easy on me. It left a hole in my heart and doubts in my mind. God hasn’t given up on me but I feel like the world has. I guess I’d better get used to solidarity. It’s a difficult transition but I don’t have a choice. ‘A man is a man because of the choices he makes’. I guess I’ll have to make my decision, and I don’t think that I’ll take the easy route out of this.

Empty Void in Me

I feel like I’m trying to fill an empty void inside me. I feel like something is missing, but I don’t know what that is. I’ve tried everything to fill that void but it just keeps getting bigger. I hate filling up that void just to make myself happy for a while. Somehow I know that it will haunt me after that. I know I cannot rest till I find a permanent way of closing that void. I hurts badly, sometimes takes me to the brink of depression. What can I do?

Stars Are blind

Somehow I really like the lyrics (especially the chorus part) to this song and the tune of the song is also quite good. Kudos to Paris for her debut in singing but I won’t say that she did great, it’s a good effort at most.

Paris Hilton – Stars Are Blind

I don't mind spending some time
Just hanging here with you
Cuz I don't find too many guys
That treat me like you do
Those other guys all wanna take me for a ride
But when I walk their talk is suicide
Some people never get beyond their stupid pride
But you can see the real me inside
And I'm satisfied, oh no, ohh

Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
If you show me real love baby
I'll show you mine

I can make you nice and naughty
Be the devil and angel too
Got a heart and soul and body
Let's see what this love can do
Baby i'm perfect for you

My love, ohh oh

I could be your confidante
Just one of your girlfriends
But I know that love's what you want
If tomorrow the world ends
Why shouldn't we be with the one we really love?
Now tell me who have you been dreaming of
At night at home? oh no, ohh

Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
If you show me real love baby
I'll show you mine

I can make you nice and naughty
Be the devil and angel too
Got a heart and soul and body
Let's see what this love can do

Baby i'm perfect for you

Excuse me for feeling
This moment is critical
Might be me feeling
It could get physical, oh no, no no

Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
If you show me real love baby
I'll show you mine

I can make you nice and naughty
Be the devil and angel too
Got a heart and soul and body
Let's see what this love can do
Let's see what this love can do
Baby I'm perfect for you

Baby I'm perfect for you

Even though the gods are crazy

Even though the stars are blind

Even though the gods are crazy

Even though the stars are blind

Does love need a reason?

One day a gal asked: why do you like me..? why do you love me..? HE answered: i can't tell the reason.. but i really like you.. SHE: you can't even tell me the reason.. how can you say you like me? how can you say you love me? HE: i really don't know the reason, but i can prove that i love you. SHE: proof? no! i want you to tell me the reason. my friend's boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you! HE: ok..ok!! ermmss.. because you are beautiful, because your voice is sweet, because you are caring, because you are loving, because you are thoughtful, because of your smile, because of your every movements. the gal felt very satisfied with his answer. unfortunately, a few days later, the gal met with an accident and became comma. HE then placed a letter by her side, and here is the content: darling, because of your sweet voice that I love you... now can you talk? no! therefore i cannot love you. because of your care and concern that i like you.. now that you cannot show them, therefore i cannot love you. because of your smile, because of your every movements that i love you.. now can you smile? now can you move? no, therefore i cannot love you... if love needs a reason, like now, there is no reason for me to love you anymore. do love need a reason? NO! therefore, i still love you... and love doesn't need a reason "sometimes the best and the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, cannot be touched, but can be felt in the heart" love doesn't need a reason... its something you can feel burning inside your heart and waiting to be explode of love... please.. never ever ask someone why do they love u…