A Guide To Roses

We all give roses to people we care about, but half of us don’t know what each colour of a rose means. Here’s the guide, it could be very useful when you want to give someone a hint when you present him or her with a rose:

A yellow rose says, “I just want to be friends with you”

A white rose says, “I admire you”

A pink rose says, “I like you”

A red rose says, “I love you”


Choose wisely….

A Football Headache

To play, or not to play? Hmmm…. looks like an easy decision but it has a lot of complications. I’ve been handed the job of Football Team Manager for my college. I’ve always wanted to manage a football team of my own and now I have the chance to see if I really have what it takes. That’s the easy part. The complications come in when I have to decide whether I’m going to manage only or play in the team as well as manage it. If I decide to play and manage, I would have to get my fitness up to par with the other players and that's going to be very hard since I’m all fat and chubby after I stopped play for 4 months with my neighborhood friends. I feel like playing for the team but as a manager, I have the responsibility of picking only the best and if I let myself play, it means that I have to prove myself and work harder than I ever have on the field, to be able to compete with the other players who are very good and have a lot of tournament experience. I tried playing with them today and during the warm-up, we had to jog 4 laps around the field. I did the 4 laps and I was already panting. My stamina is very bad. During the game I played ok but didn’t get the ball as much as I expected. Takes time I guess (for the team to bond). I’ve set up a friendly match next week; I guess that I would just be on the bench and maybe come on for the last 20 minutes or so. How I wish that I had natural talent and good stamina….

To Be A Leader, Not A Follower

Don’t travel down a road that has been taken by many; take the road less traveled. I can follow, but I can lead. When someone asks me to do something is a specific way, I would find another way to do it but get the same result. I don’t like listening to others although I know that they’re right sometimes. It’s a bad habit of mine but I’m glad that I have that habit, because it makes me unique and unpredictable. Why should walk in the shadows of other people when I could create my own legacy? I hate being told to do things; I like to be left alone to do it without distractions of other people. I work better that way. I believe that a man should create not only his own destiny, but also his own legacy, so that he would be remembered long after he has left this earth.

Pondering on a Risky Decision

Have you ever asked God for something special, he gives you something more than expected, but with a ‘twist’? Well, I just got that and the ‘twist’ it too risky to unwind. I appreciate the fact that he always grants my wishes, although I’ve never always been a good son to Him, but I can’t get over the ‘twist’ because I really want what He granted to me. Its something that I’ve wanted for such a long time but it’s the kind of thing where ‘you have to take a major risk and hope that it doesn’t backfire’. The repercussions are something I wouldn’t be able to bare with for the rest of my life if it backfires. My mind ponders on whether I should do it or not, every beat of my heart says that I desperately need it. If I do it, I’m only thinking of my own needs; if I don’t, I would be left to wonder for the rest of my life about what could have been or what should have been.

A Poem I Composed To Say I'm Sorry To A Dear Friend

Forgive me,
You've probably heard it before from me,
Yet you've never got tired of hearing it from me,
Instead, you've always brought sunshine to me,

A smile, when others brought me none,
A laugh, when others gave me sadness,
A hand, when others pushed me down,
A shoulder, when others made me cry.

Will I always be there for you?
When you need someone, will I be that one you need?
Will I do all my best to protect you when the world closes down on you?
When tears fall down from your eyes, will I be the one to wipe it away?
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?
Will I be there to make you strong and to lean on?
When you feel like the world is turning cold, will I be the one that's there to hold you?
Will I be the one that's always by your side?
I promise I will,
Always and forever…    



Author: Me, of course. My original creation. I wrote it to say sorry to a close friend… Someone I admire and care a lot about…  

Are You Being Noticed?

Do you sometimes feel like your existence is being ignored? I do. Not by God. By humans, the people around me. I don’t know how they judge me. I can’t blame them if they judge me wrongly. They don’t know me. I wish they did, so that they can see what I’m all about. What they find might surprise them. My advice to you is, take a minute to realize at people all around you, take the time to greet them and to get to know them. You might not know them but their actions will cause a good or bad reaction to your life. So, be kind, be friendly and the world will notice you. Be aware of your surroundings. Give credit where credit is due. Notice and be noticed.

Emptiness... I feel like i'm looking for something

Lately, I’ve been feeling really empty. Like something is missing from my life. I try to suppress those feelings by keeping myself occupied with work and stuff, but it barely helps. Sometimes, when I look at people who are happily living their lives, I envy them. It’s not that I’m unhappy with my life now but there’s a void deep inside my heart and I can’t fix it. Maybe it’s loneliness, maybe it’s frustration, maybe it’s the feeling of being lost and unappreciated… I can’t tell, maybe it’s all of those feelings. I guess that I’ve just given up on finding someone to fill that void. I’ve been let down so many times that I just can’t stand being in that situation again. Maybe I don’t deserve the privilege of having ‘someone’ but I hope I do someday, to cure my aching heart…

My Favourite Quote

" Love is always patient and kind, It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. Its is never rude of selfish. It does not take offense and is not resented. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sin, but delights in the truth."

From A Walk To Remember (Starring Mandy Moore)

I Think I'm On Overload!!!

I really miss my childhood because of one silly reason; it was a time when I had no important responsibilities. There was no pressure, no headaches. Live was as simple as getting up in the morning and going to school and nothing after that. Nowadays, I feel like I’m overloading. I have a habit of taking on responsibilities for other people. I would feel really awkward if I said no most of the time. I might seem clam and cool on the outside but I’m practically dying and screaming on the inside. So, what are my current responsibilities or duties? First, I’m in college doing an IT program. That takes up a lot of my time and I have to work around my college schedule if I want to do other things. Secondly, I work part time for an education consultancy. I have to work 3 days a week and 4 to 6 hours a day. Thirdly, I work for my church as their ‘webmaster’. This is not so much of a headache because the headache was the construction and design of the website, now all I need to do is to keep updating and maintaining it. Fourthly, I’m the Assistant Youth Leader for the Christian Community of my housing area. My job is to make decisions on community activities, do a bit of public relations and organize events. Fifthly, I’ve just started another part time job, doing IT solutions for an IT company in KL. It’s my lecturer’s company. My job here is to solve IT related problems for client. They give me a problem and I have to find a solution for them within a fixed time period. Lastly, my responsibilities at home and to my family. Thank God I’m not married yet, I wouldn’t be able to cope. Although I don’t do much at home but occasionally I have to do some cleaning and housekeeping. All these things have to be kept in a balance, or I’ll be ending up in a mental hospital. Now you can see why I rarely go out to hangout with friends and why I prefer not to have a relationship/girlfriend at this stage of my life (although I guess I need one). Come to think of it, I don’t really regret taking on all these responsibilities because it has thought me a lot. I’m lucky to be able to withstand the pressure but I guess I work better when I’m under a lot of pressure… Anyone interested in being me? I don’t think so…

Words of Wisdom...

Female expressions

When a GIRL is quiet, Millions of things are running in her mind.
When a GIRL is not arguing, She is thinking deeply.
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions, She is wondering how long you will be around.
When a GIRL answers "I’m fine" after a few seconds, She is not at all fine.
When a GIRL stares at you, She is wondering why you are lying.
When a GIRL lays on your chest, She is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday, She wants to be pampered.
When a GIRL says I love you, She means it.
When a GIRL says "I miss you", No one in this world can miss you more than that.


Love Poem

If the day comes when I die,
And go up in the sky,
As I’m there so far,
I’ll write your name on every star,
So you look up and see,
How much you really mean to me.

My New Job... Kinda Interesting!

I got a job today. My ex-lecturer’s IT company. He offered me a project-based job, to develop IT solutions for clients. It doesn’t come with a fixed pay but it’s part time and I get to work from home, without traveling to places. My first project is to develop a blue-tooth based data transmission system. It’s quite hard to develop because the technology is still new and there aren’t many suppliers and vendors. On the bright side, the pay is a share in the profits and me and my team get to handle the implementation (so I have to do the demos for clients and the installation of the system at the proposed premises). It’s a challenge that I hope to overcome and I wish that I could make it big to make a name for myself. Well this is already a sign, that I’ve chosen that right path by choosing a career in IT and that people want me to work for them even though I still haven’t graduated yet. It’s nice to be wanted for something this important. I hope that I can live up to my new boss’s expectations.  

Don't You Think Holidayz Are Frustrating?

I hate college holidays. I still go to work. It doesn’t make much difference, except that I have a lot of free time that I don’t know what to do with. I don’t go out that much so I’m pretty much stuck at home doing nothing. I guess that I’m the type that just can’t sit down and do nothing. I like to interact and keep my mind busy. Today, I’m nearing the end of my holidays and I can’t wait to get back to college. I’m totally fed-up of listening to my parents yelling at me in the house, telling me to do stuff and telling me what I shouldn’t do. I have a very short temper at times and I get really frustrated at home. I’m a person who likes to be left alone to do my own things without other people pressuring me. Sometimes, I get so tired of pleasing everyone but myself.

My Vision of My Future

Well I think that I’ll be doing fine in the future. I’m just an Average Joe, so I don’t dream about becoming famous or living luxuriously in 7th heaven. I dream of having a good job, marrying a wonderful wife, having a few kids and owning my own house. I want a simple and peaceful life. If I could, I would buy a house that is away from the chaos of a big metropolis like Kuala Lumpur if I could. As for the challenges of marriage, I would like to be a gentle lover, but a hard-working provider. I would never let my wife work to get the things she wants coz I believe in giving the best for my own family. I would like to come home everyday from work, waiting to hold my wife in my arms and spend quality time with her. I’ll enjoy growing old with her. That’s why I’m very fussy about relationships; I want to make sure that I make the right choice so that we would be happy with each other. As for fatherhood, well I don’t really know what type of father I would like to be but I would rather be a close friend to my children so that they can come to me to talk about their problems and needs, instead of fearing me because I’m their father, which will cause communication breakdowns between a father-child relationship. I guess that I’ll be a lenient type of father coz I don’t want to have the relationship that I have now with my dad, with my children in the future. My dad and me rarely communicate because we might end up arguing about something. I don’t want to repeat that cycle with my kids. I don’t blame my dad for the state of our relationship because that’s the way he was brought up and he decided to follow his father’s way of bringing up a child. Me on the other hand, I want to break that cycle and be the best person I can to my wife and kids…

The Person That Means The Most To Me

Have you ever met a person that’s a complete stranger at first and never realize that the person will change your life forever? Well, I have. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. I guess that you’ve probably heard that line about a thousand times. This is different, what I am to today, I owe it to her. When I looked into her eyes, I saw that ‘forever’ was in her eyes, she would never let me down. When I met her, I thought that she was just another girl. I was dead wrong. She took me into her heart and opened mine. To me it was lust or even a lover’s love. She was like the sister I never had. She lifted me up when I was at my lowest, she watched over me when I was unwell, she protected me when I was weakened, she was there to celebrate my triumphs and comfort my failures. Everyone thought that the kind of love that we had for each other was forbidden and not real, but deep inside, we didn’t care about them. We knew that our relationship was one of respect, understanding and genuine care for each other, although many were against it. Society judges’ people from the outside, why are they so shallow? Why has humanity become so conscious about what they themselves perceive as morally correct and incorrect? Why should they judge us when most of them are hypocrites? I really hate it when someone says that we can’t do something because it is not in our culture to do so. Did God ever say that he wanted us to live strictly to what we think is right and wrong conduct? Anyway, the tides turned on us and the pressure was mounting on me to let her go… easier said than done. Letting her go was like cutting away my right hand. I couldn’t. It was so hard. I tossed and turned every night, thinking about the decision that I was about to take. Finally, I decided that if I loved her, I would have to let her go. A decision that would haunt for the rest of my life. I didn’t realize that I’ll hurt her by making that decision, but I’d rather look like someone like let her down than to sacrifice her happiness and her future. Now, it has been almost a year since the day I made that decision and I stuck to it. I don’t know if she hates me now for being such a jerk, but I never told the reason for why I did what I had to do because too much and too many people’s happiness was at stake. I had to suppress all my feelings inside me so that she could forget me. My mind was strong enough to do that but my heart certainly wasn’t. Today, I don’t know how she is and what she thinks about me. Its not that I don’t care but I’m helpless to do anything. All I can do is pray hard everyday that God protects her and keeps her happy. Deep inside, I still hope that she forgives me and that our paths will cross one fine day in the distant future. You could say that our relationship ‘lasted forever, but ended so soon…’. I wish that I could tell her that “I try but I can’t get myself to think about anything but you. I want to be with you. To be the one that’s in your arms to hold you tight. There’s nothing else I want more than to feel this way…” but I will never spoil her happiness to gain my own. That’s how much she means to me…

My Schooling Life... The Best!

My schooling life was the best thing that ever happened to me. I didn’t realize it back then but I really miss school now that I’m in college. I used to dread getting up at 6.15am every morning (during my schooling days) just to go to school. I really thought that school was just a waste of time and I was a real ‘pain in the neck’ at school. The teachers hated me and my group of friends because we always caused havoc everywhere we went. We used to escape from school during our break time and go to a food stall to have some ‘real’ food. We would only come back one hour or two hours later (around the 3rd or 4th period of class after break time). We kept failing or barely passing exams all the time, which didn’t make us ashamed at all. We would commit so many offences in school but we never got caught. As I ponder upon those memories today, I don’t regret doing what I did, I miss doing those things. That’s because back then, I was happier than I’ll ever be today. The past made me who I am and I’m not ashamed of it, but I’m proud of it. I’ll never have the same friends that I had back then and it’s true what they say: “You’ll never know the value of someone till they’re gone”. I can still remember the last day of school (about 3 years back). I wished everyone goodbye and told them to keep in touch (most of them didn’t). I waited till everyone was gone before I left and as I walked towards the entrance, I put my hand on the door, turned around and took one last look at my classroom, vague memories of my antics in class flashed through my mind and tears formed I my eyes. I guess that at that precise moment an important part of my life was slowly slipping away to become a thing of the past. I realized that I couldn’t come back here anymore and that my relationships with my classmates and schoolmates will soon change. Before I stepped out of my classroom for the final time, I whispered a silent but unforgettable ‘goodbye’, not to the classroom but to the ‘best days of my life’…

The Meaning of Life and A Higher Power

Life? I’ve always contemplated on the point of living. Have you been in a situation where you wonder why we were sent upon this earth? What’s our destiny? Are we just mere pawns that exist to serve other on this earth? Or do we play an important part in the survival of living creatures? I believe that God has a purpose for each and every one of us. How do I know this? Well, if you just sit and think. Every coincidence and every twist of fate that we’ve had, isn’t actually luck or chance. If you do believe and open your eyes to divine interventions, you will believe in the existence of a ‘higher power’. So, believing and acknowledging this ‘higher power’ is the key. ‘Ask and you shall receive’ is the fruit of this belief and I’ve witness miracles that happen to me that non-believe may not normally notice. Trust in God and acknowledge his presence in your life. He’ll be the only one that will sit by your side through your every triumph and defeat. Close your eyes, see with your heart…

Introduction

Hi, i'm Jonathan. I live in Malaysia. I'm 20 and i'm studying Information Technology in college. I'm crazy about soccer and i watch it, play it and dream about it everyday. I'm also a web-designer and a webmaster. You could check out the first site i ever did at www.mgosite.cjb.net . It was for a college assignment and i did it entirely with only Window's 'notepad' (no help from any other softwares). That's why it's not so great. Anyway, i also play a lot of online games (Earth2025, Utopia, Runescape) and offline games. I also do a bit of rock climbing and enjoy going to the movies. I enjoy meeting new ppl online and having a chat with them. I have accounts in Friendster.com and Myspace.com (you can find me by email: cyber_tyrant@hotmail.com)